FEATURE ARTICLE

Temple Chima UbochiThursday, June 13, 2013
ubochit@yahoo.com
Bonn, Germany

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A FATHER: THE LEADER OF EVERY HOME (1-2)


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Every father is the architect of his home life (Reed Markham)

One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters (English Proverb)

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection (Sigmund Freud)

his column is suspending its current serial for a two-part article on fathers to commemorate the Father's Day (June 16).

Father's Day is an occasion to mark and celebrate the contribution that your own father has made to your life. Linda Poindexter was right that "A father is the driving force of the family who is always content to take a back seat". First and foremost, there are two words which are universal; which a child, no matter where he or she is born, learns instinctively. These two words can be pronounced anywhere and any person, no matter the language, will understand what they mean. These words are PAPA and MAMA. Ask a European, an African, an American, an Asian, an Australian or any person anywhere in the world who's a papa or mama, and he or she will not think twice to answer the question.

What's the meaning of a father? Someone answered:

F= forever with his family
A= always there for you no matter what
T= the only one who's there
H= he's my hero till the end
E= encouraging in everything i do
R= really the only one...no one can beat him he's the best!!!

A father is someone who holds a child when he cries, he scolds a child when he breaks the rules, he shines with pride when his child succeeds, and has faith in his child even when he or she fails. A father does everything good for his child; he's the best person a child can know, he always believes in his child; he's always there for the child, no matter what; and for that, he's greatly loved.

A father, just like a mother, is special in the life of a child. Reed Markham wrote that "Children who are in families left to run their own show run into problems. Every child needs a father who provides action, direction, motivation, and love. Great fathers know the fundamentals - high priority to family, a steady provider, and a great moral example to follow". Children look up to their father as role models as someone wrote in a card to his father:

"When the good lord was creating Fathers, He started with a tall frame. And a female angel nearby said: "What kinda of father is that? If you're going to make children so close to the ground, why have You put fathers up so high? He won't be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without bending over or even kiss a child without a lot of stooping".

And God smiled and said, "Yes but, if I make him child-sized, who would children have to look up to?"

Although every man can get children, but not every man can be a father. Still at that, no child can come into this word, no matter the means, without a father (man) contributing in the procreation process. Even the test-tube babies, have fathers. A woman may refuse to marry; she can decide to have a boyfriend or to go to sperm bank for sperm for the fertilization of her ovary. Which ever way, a man contributed greatly in making that child. The women thinking that they can do without a man, but, crave a child should know that there's no way they can make it (without a man's input). And whether a woman is married or has a boyfriend or procured the sperm from the sperm bank, her child has a father, even when no one knows the identity of the man involved.

Trell wrote "It's true what they say (takes more than just a sperm donor to be a father). A father loves unconditionally, picks you up when you fall, has a firm hand when you do wrong but a gentle hug to let you know it's alright, chases bullies and monsters away. And values his family over all others including himself. A father is always there whenever you need him because he truly cares"

Like a mother, a father starves so that his children will eat just as Chikku George Thomas wrote:

"My father is the greatest illiterate person in the world, Poorest of all the men in the world,
I considered him as the Ugliest person in the world, Weakest of all in the World, and
A man who knows nothing in this World....

I am always ashamed to stand with him in a crowded area...........!!

I always shouted with my father and even asked him to stay away from me....!!

I had even asked the god why did you give such a father to me.....!!

I even tried to beat my father too...!!

Still he didn't utter a word to me, still not even a drop of tear flipped off from his eyes......!!

And one day he died.....

Then I noticed a paper on his table...
On that paper my father wrote

"Even if you considered me as Poorest, Illiterate, Ugliest, and Weakest of all in the World....Even if you considered me as A man who knows nothing in this World.......Still I LOVE YOU SON.......Everything is for you SON........Even if my stomach is empty I gave you the Bread, Even if I had pain, I neglected it for YOU MY SON....Even if I had nothing to wear, I had not let you dressless......Even if I had not wear shoes in my life.., I didn't let you shoeless.......I had prayed for you every day and night, even if you avoided me in you prayers....YES SON I HAD NEGLECTED EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE FOR YOU....EVEN MY LAST DROP OF MY BLOOD.........
IT'S BECAUSE I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH MY DEAR SON.......AND LAST OF ALL PLEASE UNDERSTAND ME EVEN FROM THIS LETTER BECAUSE I WROTE THIS FROM BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE (AND YOU KNOW THAT I HAD SEEN UP TO 5th STANDARD)..........

GOOD BYE SON..........

I WISH YOU A GREAT LIFE, LIVE HAPPILY........AND IF YOU CAN PLEASE REMEMBER ME IN YOUR PRAYERS FROM NOW "

WITH A BROKEN HEART
YOUR LOVING FATHER..."

A father works hard, even when the strength and will power is not there, to put food on the table for the family as Tina wrote "My Dad always provided me with the necessities in life: food, clothing, shelter... hair products, manicures, pedicures, body lotions, designer handbags, designer jeans, lipstick, eyeliner, blush, DVDs, MP3 players, and so much more. He went without so that I could have more. He gave me so much including the most important thing in the world: all of his love".

And, Mario Cuomo (1932), an American politician who served as the Secretary of State of New York from 1975 to 1978, as the Lieutenant Governor of New York from 1979 to 1982, and as the 52nd Governor of New York for three terms, from 1983 to 1994, added that "I watched a small man with thick calluses on both hands work fifteen and sixteen hours a day. I saw him once literally bleed from the bottoms of his feet, a man who came here uneducated, alone, unable to speak the language, who taught me all I needed to know about faith and hard work by the simple eloquence of his example."

A true father is always there. He's there to spill tears of happiness when his eyes fall upon his infant child. He's there with arms to catch him/her when he/she takes his/her first steps or stumbles. He's there to teach the child at the youngest age, even though he/she might not understand half of it. He's there to help the child tie the shoes. He's there to hug and kiss the child on the first days of school. He's there to teach, tease and laugh with the child. He's always there to embarrass the child, but that's part of life. He's there to approve, disapprove, accept and forgive. He's there to give a girl child a big bundle of flowers when she graduates, to smile when her name is called and feel proud. He's there to embrace her and kiss her before she goes to live and learn a thousand miles away. He's there to see her become a working woman, to walk her down the aisle. He's there to watch her grow as the lines on his face grow. He's there to welcome her home, always, and let her hug him and smell the smell she remembers from childhood, the warm, protecting, comforting smell of her father. But most of all, he is always there to love the child. And the child is always there to love him back no matter where he (the father) is.

A father clings to a bad job or a bad wife for the sake of his children: Some wives are so nagging that their husbands will not think twice to exorcise them from their lives, but, for the sake of the children, many fathers have tolerated a Jezebel as a wife, as an English Proverb says that " a father is a person who defends you when you have a mean mother", and, Katie knows, a journalist, said " I have to thank my dad so much. He gives the best advice. I don't know what I would do without him. Things are saved and better because of him", while King Tony .S. Singh acknowledged that "The gift of a Father cannot been seen by our eyes, yet he sacrificed his every breath, sweat and everything to comfort us, his family''.

A father blazes the trail for the children just as Nieyanch noted that "Having a father like you is one of the greatest blessings in our life. You're not a teacher but you taught us the most valuable things in life, how to live a worthy life. You're not a doctor/nurse but you've always been there when we're not feeling well and prayed to God to take those sicknesses away. You're not a soldier but you face battles for us, you've been the best protector and an enemy of those who tried to hurt us. You're not a fairy but you reach for the stars above to make our wishes and dreams come true. We lost our mother yet you've filled those emptiness. In everyday of our lives you always make us feel very special. You alone is enough to make us feel we're loved... So others don't have the right to question you being a father because they don't even know you in the first place. You are the best father, the best of everything and we thank you..."

A father's love for his children is deep and touching just as Liyah L wrote to the father:

"You were there during my darkest days
Watching every step I make
Encouraging me to stand up whenever I stumble
Giving me advice to better my self up
You cry with me whenever I cry
You were always my crying shoulder
You always protect me, keep me safe from harm
I may not understand you sometimes
But I know you're doing whatever you are doing for my own good
Thank you..
You honed me into what I am right now
I may not say "I love you" everyday but I do
and I'm the greatest Fan of your life"

A father's blessing precedes his children and guides them all through. Bravetabada wrote that:

"A dad is someone who
wants to catch you before you fall
but instead picks you up,
brushes you off,
and lets you try again.

A dad is someone who
wants to keep you from making mistakes
but instead lets you find your own way,
even though his heart breaks in silence
when you get hurt.

A dad is someone who
holds you when you cry,
scolds you when you break the rules,
shines with pride when you succeed,
and has faith in you even when you fail..."

To be concluded!

TIT BITS

An evening with Yanni for the fathers and their loved ones! Enjoy it with candle lights:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVHPlG-3Mpk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFBxrIdBz9I&list=RD02eVHPlG-3Mpk

THE THANX IS ALL YOURS!!!

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