FROM THE PREACHER"S LENSES
|Thursday, May 7, 2020|
e honour and celebrate our Godly women today all across the world, those women who accept the challenges of womanhood.
May God bless whoever mooted the idea of setting a particular day every year to honour and celebrate our women. It was very thoughtful of the person.
So today I congratulate and greet all the godly women; who have taken the challenges of womanhood with grace and dignity. I hope that those women who are yet to accept the challenges will do by the time I finish this sermon so that I can congratulate them too, next year.
Today, I want to speak to the would-be mothers i.e. future mothers so that they will properly understand what challenges lie ahead of them, which if graciously accepted, is certain to become blessings to them and they can be counted among the virtuous women.
So the topic of my this year's mother's day sermon is titled "Preparation to becoming a mother"
But let us first commit this hour into the hands of the Lord.
Preparation to Becoming a Mother.
Soon, after a girl becomes matured, she becomes weary of being under the control of her parents and she is eager to be freed from their rules of do's and don'ts; she must tell her father the details of her movements, details of who she associates with. She has a time issued to her when she must be home particularly in the evening. She wears a dress and the father disapproves it, she must go and change.
She sees her father as being too strict and difficult and she is eager to get married and live her life.
But hardly does she consider that marriage life, living with someone she calls husband may even be more difficult.
Listen to Paul in 1Cor. 7:34, as he counseled damsels in order to be aware of what lies ahead of them as they consider going into marriage "A married woman considers other things such as housekeeping and the likes and dislikes of her husband (NLT) or in the KJV, she that is married, cares for the things of the world, how she may please her husband KJV).
So actually, as you are eager to get freedom from your parents, you must realize that you are heading for a bigger task and weighty responsibility of a house keeper and mother. But if you have a good understanding and preparation of what lies ahead to become a house wife and mother, then the marriage is certain to be blissful.
Without doubt, women have more to bear for human race to exist. They have more to offer if the house must be at peace and in order that the marriage be sustained.
Where the home loses peace or divorce occurs, in most cases, it is because the woman does not sufficiently accept the challenges and demands placed upon her in the home.
Do not misunderstand me, I have not said it is the fault of the wife, I am only saying that most probably, the woman has not accepted enough, the demands of tolerance placed on her.
And when I am talking about being tolerant, I am not saying that the wife should remain in the marriage where it generates to the point that the husband has turned her to become a soccer ball, kicking her here and there, subjecting her life to danger. When it gets to that stage and every effort to bring the man to his senses fail, the wife must talk to her legs.
The role of womanhood in marriage is by no means an easy one.
The demands of womanhood is enormous such that I often say that if after I get to heaven and God wants me to return to the earth, He must let me come back as a man otherwise He should allow me to continue to enjoy my time with Him. I will not be tired nor be bored singing Halleluyah to Him day and night.
Women have a lot to absorb, they have a lot to compromise with, they have a lot to do. They have a lot of sacrifice to make. The responsibility placed on women is enormous.
And so would be godly mothers from the very young age must learn the values of the family and start modeling herself towards it.
She must from the early age be grooming herself to becoming a responsible wife and mother.
A girl who desires to be a good mother must delight herself in house chores. She must learn to be decent in a manner acceptable of a godly woman.
For example she must discipline herself to laugh only when necessary in the public, comment on situations only when invited to do and so on and so forth.
In the African culture, any woman who decides to marry should be aware that she is not marrying only her husband but the whole family of the husband and his extended family members.
Where the wife plays "My husband and I" the marriage will quickly run into troubled waters. Such problems may not come into play where the couple lives outside the country. But even then parents still make visits.
A would be mother must study very seriously Proverbs 31 of the Bible. There, she will learn what the responsibilities are, which are placed on house wives and mothers. Proverbs 31 is usually referred to as the Bible of the 'virtuous woman'
The administration and management of the home is enormous. The mother plans for the breakfast, lunch and dinner for the family three times a day and throughout the year.
Planning menu may be difficult where the family is large. It is not an easy task as she cannot be putting on the table, same thing each time. Even if baba understands, children will complain. Baba too will even complain.
I used to live away from home and taking care of only my mouth was problematic many times.
Though she had prepared the meals and packed them inside the deep freezer; many times, I forgot to bring them out at the appropriate time for the meal to defrost. I remembered only when I became hungry. And when such occurred, I had to make some other crash programs.
The woman plans ahead of time to stock food materials when they are a bit cheap.
Soon as she returns from work, she goes straight into the kitchen while baba goes out with friends or watches the TV. But the father who loves his wife will ask how he can assist.
It was a bit better in the days when there were house helps.
She has the home work of the children to supervise.
She is the first person to wake up in the home and she is the last to go to bed.
Let the damsel realize that upon all the aforementioned duties, which she has occupied herself with all the day, brother is still waiting for her on some nights. I hope they understand what I mean! Well, if she is not too tired, it may however provide some relaxing moment for her too.
In spite of the enormous home care loaded on the woman on top of her career, she still must keep herself in shape.
She wants to maintain all, which brother saw in her, which attracted her to him.
I understand that some hairdo takes upwards of six hours to complete.
If it is perming, she sits her head under heat for whatever length of time it takes.
If the dressing she wears must include head tie, she still wraps her head in it however hot it may be; all in the effort to remain attractive to the husband.
Though the man who will cheat will cheat but the wife must have satisfied herself that she has done all she needed to do in order to remain appealing to brother and keep him in door.
Soon as she delivers her baby, she occupies herself with how to get back to shape, how to collapse her abdomen so that she can again be appealing to her husband, while the husband in his own case carries his pot belly about.
Did Paul the Apostle not say it "A married woman considers other things such as housekeeping and the likes and dislikes of her husband (NLT) or in the KJV, she that is married, careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband KJV) (1Cor. 7:34).
Preaching at a wedding ceremony one day, I asked the couple to stand up. I asked the bridegroom to look at his bride very well. He did. I then told him that if he wants his wife to retain same posture, he should prevent all, which they will start to do in the other room, soon as they leave the Church from resulting into pregnancy because her posture will change after pregnancy. He cannot have his cake and eat it. I afterwards pleaded with the beautiful bride to please make every possible sacrifice to retain the posture in order for him to keep in door.
An enjoyment of few minutes of one night between the two, results in a burden, which only one person shoulders for the next nine months initially.
Sometimes ago, one young woman was with us during her 1st trimester; it was a very difficult time for her.
She constantly nauseated.
She rarely ate for the fear that she might throw up.
She was on bed almost all day.
I sympathized with her a lot. I wished there was a way I could help her but none.
But all these become bearable like a play if she marries the bone wherein she was made. They are more bearable where the brother appreciates her role in the house and showers her with love.
But how does she get her bone?
It is only through prayer and the leading of the Holy Spirit to discern; to constantly petition God right from her youth that God opens her eyes to the bone, which she belongs.
She herself must first love the Lord and live for the Lord. She must be obedient to her parents, so long as they do not ask her to do anything against the law of God. An obstinate girl to her parents will carry same behavior to her marriage and that will be a disaster.
She cannot live a reckless life. She must live a life of chastity. She cannot afford to open her legs for any man if she wants the respect and adoration of her future husband.
She must be asking God to be preparing her would be husband also to love the Lord and make him a responsible person, be obedient to his parents and participate in house chores.
Heaven must be her priority and if this is so, she will realize that divorce is not in the dictionary of God and so will do everything to avoid divorce because the door of re-marrying is very narrow.
She must be extremely careful not to be hoodwinked, manipulated or deceived by false prophets who will attempt to arrange her for a fake man and tell her it is "God's will' Let God talk to you yourself.
Many men though want to enjoy the so called life but at the same time want a godly woman in the home. So, she must watch for such men who display all kinds of pretense, pretending to be godly in her presence but he is something else, in her absence, but after marriage displays her true character.
A Damsel should be careful of men who come to her and say God says "You are my wife" Do not allow any man to rush or intimidate you with any prophecy. Let God Himself speak to you.
You must have testimonies to convince yourself that the brother you decide for, is the God anointed for you. If you are such sure, it will help you to float whenever the Devil visits your home with its pranks after wedding.
I encourage the boy and the girl before they finally say 'yes' to each other to share their testimonies of how each of them is sure that he and she is God's choice.
And after you are sure that you have got Mr. right, do not think that because you got Mr. right, the Devil will not visit you. Surely he will shake your home from time to time.
But those testimonies will continue to reassure you that you have not made a mistake in your choice and you will be able to pray to overcome such troubles.
Brother must command your respect. His personality must command your respect. Don't marry because you want to pity him. You must be proud of his personality among friends and in the public. He will however surely appeal to you, if he is the chosen one for you, even if he does not appeal to anyone else.
I am speaking to would be mothers. I am telling them what they should watch for in order to make the correct choice of a husband, so that they can have a joyful home, which in turn will make them a good mother.
A damsel will be making a serious mistake to decide for a boy for the reasons that his parents are rich or because the parents occupy a high position or because his father is a man of God, rather a girl should watch for the seriousness of the boy. Is he serious with his studies? Does he have a plan to be successful in life and live an independent life from his parents? Does he have a purpose in life or he spends all his time in Church without doing something useful to get him prepared to take responsibility as a husband and father? The position of his parents in the Church does not determine his godliness. So make no mistake.
Marriage must be entered into with positive attitude. It must be entered into humbly, with faith and with a determination for success.
A would be wife who says "I cannot tolerate excesses of any husband" has destroyed her home before the 'go' whistle is even blown. One girl had said "I cannot tolerate the type of excesses my mother tolerates from my father" Lo and behold, her marriage failed in under 8 years.
I have seen a woman relegated all the house chore to the husband because she is the weaker vessel in view of Apostle Peter's counsel in his first book 3:7 that husbands, should deal with the wives according to knowledge, -------, as unto the weaker vessel. This woman also expected the husband to wake up in the night to nurse the baby as well.
Let the wife not make her husband a slave and vice versa. Each must strive to outdo the other.
There was a soldier of Christ, gone to be with the Lord many years ago. He testified that if he woke up in the night and said he was hungry, his wife would rise up to cook for him even if it was at 200am.
I know a young woman who understands the sleeping habit of her husband that he is completely away from this terrestrial planet in the night once he hits the bed and so, she does not disturb him in the night for any reason.
While we may envy the way of life of one particular family, it may not be our style. Every family must fashion out what suites them.
I always advise a would be wife to get close to the parents of her fiancée to understudy them so as to get prepared for some characteristic manners of the person she is planning to live with because her would be husband certainly will have some portraits of those parents.
Let us pray.