Monday, August 21, 2023
[email protected]


y Divine ordinance I was born on first day of April, which is globally known as April Fools' Day. In other words, I was born a fool. Luckily I was born on that day at exactly 12.05 p.m. As the case may be, I escaped being a complete fool just by five minutes. The April fool prank begins on that day from 12.00a.m to 12.00 noon. That is why I describe myself as a wise fool. Someone said it is a contradiction to be foolish and wise at the same time. That becomes his palaver. But for me it is not contradictory. I am both foolish and wise.

My date of nativity is funny for many of my friends. Whenever I invite people to my birthday celebration, they think that I am playing a prank. Some laugh at my invitation. Some come with doubts. Others think that I am fooling them. This doubt always leads to economic waste own my own part. Nevertheless, I do not mind the loss. One of my close friends describes my birthday as the celebration of foolishness. We normally laugh over it. Happiness is the climax of my birthday celebration. Who is fooling who on my special birthday? No body. If there is reincarnation, I shall be born again on first day of April. It gives me a lot of joy.

In our contemporary society, foolishness has been taken to the next level. Some people fool themselves and fool others as well. If you do not shine your eyes well, you will fall a victim. You can fool some of the people some of the times, but you cannot fool all the people all the times. If two tortoises engage themselves in business, none of them can fool the other. A tortoise can only fool animals of other species. For instance, there was an ancient story of how the tortoise and the goat went on food theft in a poor woman's house. They gained access into her compound through a hole at the wall. They stole and ate already cooked food in a big pot. The wise tortoise paused a while and went to the hole at the wall to measure if its protruded belly can pass through. But the foolish goat continued to eat and eat without weighing the consequences. Suddenly they heard a noise at the door. Both thieves ran for their lives. Sharply the tortoise escaped through the hole. Unfortunately the goat was trapped because its protruded belly was bigger than the hole. Consequently, the owner of the food gave it a knife blow which led to its death. This is why it is commonly said that if a rat follows a lizard to jump into water, the body of the lizard dries up instantly while the rat suffers from body wetness. By so doing, the lizard fooled the rat. The tortoise fooled the goat. Who fools you?

If a thief catches a thief in his house, can he call him a thief? One day I was scolding my little houseboy for breaking drinking glasses constantly. It happened that he saw when a glass fell off my hand and broke into pieces few days earlier. So he boldly said that I am also guilty. At this I scratched at my head and thereby dismissed him unconditionally. The other day I came across two mad women quarreling verbally. One called the other, "Mad woman!" The other shouted back, "Your own madness has no equal!" It is a common opinion that everybody is mad, but it depends on the degree. What is the degree of your madness?

The Nigerian Presidential Election of 25 February 2023 has come but not gone. The electoral umpire muddled the whole process by breaching the Electoral Laws and the Constitution of Nigeria. With biased and corrupt mind he thought he fooled the electorates by announcing the winner by all crude means. Afterwards he asked the aggrieved presidential candidates to go to court. Indeed they went to court because a rat cannot eat the food of a person who is awake. Injustice can never truly triumph over justice. The Court is believed to be the last hope of the common man. All eyes are now on the Nigerian Judiciary to justify this assertion. Will the Judiciary fool aggrieved millions of Nigerians at this critical time? The sleeping dog is lying patiently to know the outcome of the Presidential Election Tribunal. The political sky is heavily dark and cloudy. The Judiciary can either prove itself or mar its image by the judgment it shall deliver on the controversial and rigged presidential election. Will the Truth triumph over Falsehood or vice versa? Time shall tell. The God of justice is watching. The whole world is also watching.

Recently there was a Coup d'etat in Niger Republic. Niger shares boundary with Nigeria. The only nominal difference between the two neighboring countries is 'ia'. In size Nigeria is bigger than Niger. Lord Lugard amalgamated three big entities into one country for colonial economic benefits. In fact the Amalgamation fooled us. That is why we are still crawling after many years of Independence. Peace and progress have eluded us due to corruption and bad leadership.

Yes, the Nigerien Military overthrew the Civilian President in Niger because of incompetence. He has been compelled to sign his resignation letter. The Nigeriens are happy for the putsch. However the Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS) and the benefitting Neo-colonialists are unhappy about the coup d'etat. They have vowed that the dethroned civilian president must be reinstated. It happens that the president of Nigeria is the current chairman of ECOWAS. He wants to send soldiers to Niger to crush the military leadership. The Senate objected. Nigerians also objected to the proposal. But he is determined with other West African presidents to attack Niger. I pity our soldiers who will be the sacrificial lambs. I wish as the Commander-in-chief he would be at the war front.

Who is fooling who by the proposed military attack in Niger? Who is preferable between a coup maker and an election rigger? Both found themselves in power illegally. Who is thereby fooling who? If soldiers are going to another country to restore democracy, they should begin at home. After all, charity begins at home. Our democratic system is in shambles while we are interfering in another country's democratic fracas. Jesus Christ the Saviour says that one must first of all remove the log of wood in his own eyes before removing the speck of wood in another person's eye.

As if fooling is not enough, the Senate President committed a corruptive blunder. While millions of Nigerians are wailing over the economic hardship in the country, the Senators are sharing billions of money as holiday enjoyment allowances. At his closing speech at the recent plenary before proceeding on recess, the Senate President burst out, "To enable all of us to enjoy our holidays, a token has been sent to our various accounts by the Clerk of the National Assembly." As a result of many whispering voices into his ears over the public announcement of the enjoyment allowances, the Senate President said, "I withdraw that statement. In order to allow you to enjoy the holidays, the Senate Clerk has sent prayers into your mailboxes." Who is fooling who? Is token and prayers the same? Token is money while prayer is spiritual encouragement. Let the same token and prayers be sent to millions of poor Nigerians who are experience the present economic crunch as a result of fuel subsidy sudden removal and the high cost of fuel and all essential commodities in the market. Nigerians are dying of hunger while the Senators are comfortable with enjoyment allowances. Who is fooling who? It is unjust to rob Peter to pay Paul. Nigerians are hungry and angry.