omb and Tomb are two onomatopoeic words. They sound alike but divergent in meanings. Womb is the lower body of a woman or mammal where offspring are developed after fertilization until the time of birth. The time between fertilization and birth is known as the period of gestation. In human beings it lasts nine months. It may be less or more in other mammals. A baby which stays in the womb for more than nine months is known in my local parlance as Akpunwa (extraordinary baby). On the other hand, if it lasts less than nine month, it is called Anyunwa (soft baby). Womb begins with the letter 'W" and stands for woman who is a living thing.

On 1st April 2025, I celebrated the 62nd anniversary of leaving my mother's womb, which took place at Jos Central Maternity Hospital in the then Benue Plateau State of Nigeria. To the glory of God, my mother celebrated the anniversary with me in the presence of family members, relations, friends and well-wishers. I appreciated my lovely mother for providing favorable atmosphere for me in her womb during the nine months of my gestation. Unfortunately, my beloved father who planted the tiny seed has transited into glory. We shall meet to part no more during my eternal birthday in the world beyond. As we were toasting, winning and eating on that my foolish birthday, I was dreaming of going back into my old mother's womb due to the extreme economic hardship and insecurity in Nigeria. I presented my request to my old mother there and then. She laughed and said, "My son, I can no longer carry you in my womb now as big as you are. Also, my womb is dried up. Therefore try to survive the harsh atmosphere outside the womb. Our country Nigeria has transformed herself into a tomb where unfortunate Nigerians are buried due to hardship and insecurity." After this deep and philosophic expression, I embraced my mother with tears of joy. She shouted, "My dear son, happy birthday!" I responded, "Thank you sweet mother! If there is reincarnation, I shall enter and rejoice in your womb again." There was loud laughter from all my guests. One of my priest-friends shouted, "April fool baby! When would you be serious?" Yes, I was born a fool and by God's grace I became a wise fool.

My Wit's Corner was dismantled for two weeks because I was doing the honeymoon of my foolish birthday. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy. But all play and no work makes Jack a mere toy. Virtue, they say, lies in the middle. Therefore I am back on seat. My temporary dismantled corner has now been restored. However, it will be dismantled and restored occasionally from henceforth due to old age, dwindling strength and vision. Indeed no condition is permanent. Life is a stage.

Tomb begins with the letter 'T' and stands for non-living thing. Tomb is a large hole dug underground for the burial of human remains. In normal parlance, it is measured 6 feet by 6 feet; that is in length and width. But if the corpse is that of an extraordinary human being or a giant, the length and width vary. The tomb of Goliath cannot be the same size as that of David. Thus, when the corpse is so 'pinchomic' (tiny), the size of the tomb drastically reduces in length and width.

Human life begins at fertilization, when the male sperm and female egg fuse together during sexual intercourse. Both form the fetus which is naturally transported into the womb. In a way we can deduce that human life begins (develops) in the womb and ends in the tomb after death. However, death is not the ultimate end of human life. It is the end of a new beginning. In other words, it is called transition from mortality to immortality.

If you have an inner eye, when a baby is born, you will see the letters 'PW' on its forehead. The two letters stand for "Product of the Womb." They disappear immediately the baby is bathed after birth. On the other hand, when a person dies, another two letters "PT" appear on his or her forehead. They stand for "Product of the Tomb." If you lack the inner eye, rush to any nearest church for deliverance and installation. All those born on 1st April have 'akpucative' inner eyes. Luckily I have two inner eyes and I am willing to donate one to anyone who can laugh unstopping from morning to evening of tomorrow. I will be the observer. Relax and take things easy, because High Blood Pressure is on the increase due to the economic hardship and acute insecurity in Nigeria.

The women in my locality sing a dirge during the funeral of the deceased. It goes this way: "Abali abuo! Abali abuo ka mmadu nwere n'uwa: mbosi omumu na mbosi onwu!" This means that every human being has two days to spend on earth: the day of birth and the day of death. The process of leaving the womb is called birth while the process of going into the tomb is called burial. Thus BB means Birth and Burial. Our days on earth are counted. It has been destined that all mortals must die. Psalm 90:10 says that our span of life has been reduced to 70 or to 80 for those who are strong. On the contrary, Isaiah tells us that not to live up to 100 years is a taboo (Isaiah 65:20). Whichever is accepted does not assure immortality on earth.

The offspring in the womb is referred to as fetus. When it leaves the womb it is called a baby. So the tiny baby grows into a boy or a girl. Later he or she grows into a man or a woman. "WO" standing for the womb is conjoined with man to become woman. A man has no womb and that is why the "WO" is subtracted from him. When age is no longer on the part of the man or the woman, they become old man and old woman respectively. Nothing is constant except change. Some time ago, I had a cook who used to call me father. When I went for one month's holiday and came back, she started to address me as daddy. I asked myself the difference between father and daddy? There was no available answer until I stood before a standing mirror. There and then I observed that Obi is no longer a boy but an old man.

Recently the priests in my diocese went for routine monthly spiritual recollection in our Cathedral Church. We were reminded that age is not on our side. Therefore we must be ready to hand over to younger generation. After the spiritual admonition, we eat and drank in order to keep body and spirit at equilibrium. As we were leaving for home, an expert clerical tailor was available at the Cathedral entrance to measure and sew new soutanes (clerical gown) for customers. Surprisingly I saw a priest who has clogged almost 80 years measuring new soutane. I approached him and teased him in these words: "Father, how longer will you live as you are measuring new soutane? Are the ones you already have all worn out?" He laughed with frowned face and stated that I was wishing him death. I replied, "Far be it father! I am only stating the obvious. At 62, I am no longer sewing new soutanes unless all the ones I have already are totally worn out." We laughed it off.

On another occasion, we had special seminar whose theme was: "Why Priests Die Young." As I was purchasing the booklet, behold an old priest who was almost 90 years struggling to get the booklet. I glanced at him and said, "Father, this booklet is not useful for you because God has blessed you with longevity. He looked at me suspiciously and left in silence. Human life is precious. Happy Easter!