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[email protected] Political Scientist USA

FRIDAY PEPPERSOUP TALK
THE IRONY OF THE DEATH OF CHIEF CLAUDE EKE, A.K.A. PRINCE JEGEDE SHOKOYA!

JO: This palm wine is not sweet in my mouth.

SAMANKWE: Ah, if palmy is not sweet in your mouth anymore then something is wrong.

OJO: Am serious, I've lost appetite.

SAMANKWE: Why?

OJO: It's Chief Claude Eke.

SAMANKWE: Who is he?

OJO: He was the actor known as Prince Jegede Shokoya on the TV show "New Masquerade."

SAMANKWE. You mean that TV actor?

OJO: How many Prince Jegede Shokoyas do you know? Bushman like you. The man is dead.

SAMANKWE: What killed him?

OJO: They said he died of stroke.

SAMANKWE: That is always the case with these rich people.

OJO: Did you say rich people?

SAMANKWE: Yes.

OJO: What makes you think that? Do you think everyone on TV is rich?

SAMANKWE: Most of them are. Look at Zubradaya, is he not rich?

OJO: He may be rich, but this Jegede guy died because he had no money to help his situation.

SAMANKWE: What do you mean? He looked rich on TV. Wasn't he known as the millionaire of the millennium?

OJO: The hospital needed to do a Computerized Temography [CT] scan or something like that and he did not have the money to perform such procedure.

SAMANKWE: You mean he could have been alive today if he was rich?

OJO: Yes, of course. How many rich men in Nigeria do you see dying like Jegede? Are they not all flying to Europe and America at the slightest cough?

SAMANKWE: Who is flying to Europe?

OJO: Look at our defense minister. What is his name again? That old man.

SAMANKWE: You mean Danjuma?

OJO: Yes, thank you. That old man, the walking dead, he goes to Europe every week for medical reasons.

SAMANKWE: You mean that a man like Jegede with all the money he made from his TV acting could not use it to save his life?

OJO: You are assuming that he had savings. How many Nigerians have savings these days? Those who have them have dipped their hands to meet up with their financial obligations. Those who do not have savings are now armed robbers and pen thieves.

SAMANKWE: It's a pity.

OJO: Yes, oh, my brother.

SAMANKWE: He acted a millionaire on the "New Masquerade" show, but was as poor as a church rat in real life. Rich, yet poor.

OJO: I wouldn't be surprised if he was poorer than a church rat.

SAMANKWE: Ojo, I want to know something.

OJO: What?

SAMANKWE: You mean to tell me that no one could have loaned him some money to take care of himself. You see, in this world, you cannot trust anyone. Even those whom he brought laughter to their faces day in and day out could not come together and save his life. What kind of a country is this?

OJO: The country is hard, my brother. You cannot blame anyone. Everyone is biting the bullet.

SAMANKWE: Except Obasanjo and his forty-nine thieves.

OJO: Ah, Saman, you will kill me. You mean just like Ali Baba and his forty thieves?

SAMANKWE: Yes, but in this case, Obasanjo has nine more thieves than Ali Baba. You know, we Nigerians, we always want to best the next guy. We are known for that.

OJO: So who are Obasanjo's forty-nine thieves?

SAMANKWE: His forty-nine ministers. They are a huge drain on our economy. The cost of government is very high and they are the main reason. They have all kinds of cars, servants. Go and see their government homes in Abuja, even the Queen of England has not seen such opulence.

OJO: Didn't Obasanjo threaten to cut their perks?

SAMANKWE: Yes, he did. He has noticed that they are a huge drain on our resources. Some of them do not even work. They just sit there and earn money.

OJO: What do you think of what that minister said?

SAMANKWE: Which minister?

OJO: The minister of works who said he spent over N400 billion on roads in the country in the last three years.

SAMANKWE: Ojo, except those roads are in his village, I say he is a flat out liar. Even the blind man can see that the roads are in a shape of disrepair. Has he been to the east and south lately? Do our ministers think that we are all blind fools?

OJO: So you think they are all liars?

SAMANKWE: Of course. The day any of them will tell the truth the earth will quake as that is an unnatural occurrence.

OJO: So how much does a Nigerian minister earn?

SAMAKWE: Legally or otherwise?

OJO: Let's start with their legal earnings.

SAMANKWE: I will say about N350,000 a month.

OJO: And how much is minimum wage?

SAMANKWE: About N10,000.

OJO: That is why there is so much corruption in this country. Look at the disparity.

SAMANKWE: Ojo, you will kill me with your big grammar. What is "disparity" again?

OJO: I thought you graduated from Yaba Tech? They did not teach you big words there?

SAMANKWE: Not only did I graduate from Yaba Tech, I also graduated from Ikeja Tech and then I got my masters from Ikoyi Tech and I'm applying for my Ph.D at Oshodi Tech after which I will go and teach at Mushin Tech.

OJO: Saman, you be crazy man.

SAMANKWE: If you don't tell me the meaning of that word now, you will see more craziness.

OJO: It means differences, so much gap.

SAMANKWE: Is that right?

OJO: Yes. I believe that our ministers do not deserve what they get. Do you know that they do not even spend that money since the government pays for all their expenses including their groceries.

SAMANKWE: Haba, Ojo, me too will be a minister someday.

OJO: Minister of God or Minister of Government?

SAMANKWE: Which one makes more money?

OJO: They both make money nowadays. Those pastors, don't you see the cars they all drive? Benzes and BMWs. Not even one of them is driving a Volkswagen. When you ask them, they would say their God is not a poor God. But it seems that their God only blesses them and forgets their congregation. Is he not a fair God?

SAMANKWE: The one I know is a very fair God.

OJO: Me too.

SAMANKWE: Don't you know it's a business. In these hard times, opening a church is one of the most lucrative businesses. Have you seen any of those pastors of profits living in a small house?

OJO: No.

SAMANKWE: Thank you. I will open my own church and call it "You Must Pay Your Title Church of God." Y-M-P-Y-T-C-G.

OJO: So you will take ten percent from every members' monthly salary as mandated by the Bible in addition to the collection every Sunday?

SAMANKWE: Which ten percent? Have you not heard of inflation? Ten percent was during the time when Jesus was on earth. That was 2000 years or so ago. Abe? Now, with inflation, it more like forty percent. Don't forget the adjustment for cost of living.

OJO: Saman, you sef. I wonder what happened to the true men of God who eschewed worldly things?

SAMANKWE: I beg, I can't answer that. But tell me, this Jegede guy, his death must be a blow to the Arts in Nigeria. Such a prominent actor dying in circumstances that could have been easily helped.

OJO: My brother, this is the ironic of his death. He was rich on TV but poor in real life. He helped people on the screen but could not help himself in real life. Isn't that sad?

SAMANKWE: Terrible.

OJO: Even members of the government could not help.

SAMANKWE: Why should they help? Have they finished helping themselves to our money?

OJO: My brother, this country is strange.

SAMANKWE: Tell me something new.