FEATURE ARTICLE

Chigachi EkeMonday, July 9, 2012
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Port Harcourt, Nigeria

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“RIVER JUJU”
CHAPTER 9

f you ask Mallam Daura today if he knew Dandy the old medicine man would likely shake his head, gather his thought, before telling you that very few young men were like him. Yes, he was a wonderful character. Press him to comment further and your exchange with him was likely to take this turn.


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Mallam Daura: Yes. I knew Dandy very well. We were friends.

You: How long did you know him?

Mallam Daura: For many, many years. I was the person who introduced him to some traders here in the Mammy Market. He bought beans here and supplied it to caterers all over Port Harcourt.

You: But you don’t sell beans.

Mallam Daura: No. I sell traditional medicines. He came to me anytime he had problem and I gave him herbs to cure him. He also brought me people with problems and I helped them all.

You: What kind of health problems did he come to you with?

Mallam Daura: (Shaking his head) I can’t tell you.

You: Did he ever ask you for juju to kill anyone?

Mallam Daura: I don’t do that kind of medicine. My medicines are for body sickness like when a person starts getting pains in the waist and all over his body. My medicines also help a man if he’s too weak to kick a woman with his third leg.

This soft spoken Fulani was the best hand when it came to traditional medicine. After putting in ten years in the Nigerian army he retired and remained in the Bori Camp army barracks where some boys he knew the day their mothers gave birth to them were now senior officers in the forces. Mallam Daura, Allah’s blessing on him, was the one-stop solution to weak erection. His abode was one of the tin structures inside the barracks’ Mammy Market. No known customer ever said a bad thing about his medicines. What he couldn’t cure he told you so. But when he gave you roots for a particular problem then you could be sure to recover the very day he said you’d recover.

Shell, Julius Berger, Total, just name it, were full of big men eternally grateful to him. At times a patient who came to him looking lost returned months later walking on invisible springs only to stone him with a car key, a free gift in appreciation of his help. Man’s greatest problem, as long as this medicine man was concerned, was shame which made him to die in silence. If a man well into his 90s could father a child, he always said, a young man had no business fearing a naked woman.

With Celine Ngu in his crossfire Dandy went to his old friend to fortify himself for the battle ahead. He found Mallam Daura reclining alone in his batcher. Around the herb man who warmly welcomed him were displayed dried roots and barks carefully preserved in glass containers. A copy of the Holy Koran lay on the mat next to his cell phone.

“You don’ come?”

“Sanu, Mallam.”

Lifting his right fist in friendly greeting as his guest folded himself on the mat opposite him, “Sanu. How your business?”

“I am not complaining. The problem is fuel scarcity. Without fuel my suppliers cannot go to the villages and bring in goods.”

“Gaskiya! The fuel problem is too much. Some traders travelled to Sokoto to buy cows but they paid three times what they used to pay.”

Rubbing his face to show he was unfazed, “What do you have for me?”

“What do you want me to give you?”

They stopped talking as a Hausa trader made his entrance. Almost immediately the man left again with a big bag of beans ridding on his shoulders. Hausa merchants used this Mammy Market as depot. They also lived here where northern troops could protect them if trouble broke out. Northerners paid lip service to One Nigeria and that was why you didn’t see them living with other natives in town. The only native who believed in this country was the Igbo man who built outside Igboland. No Hausa/Fulani ever built outside the North since they had no confidence in Nigeria. That explained why this Mallam Daura would never buy a plot of land and build a house in the Niger Delta. Dandy had no great love for these Hausa bastards.

Hausas thought they could carry knives and kill southerners living in the North at the same time remain safe in the South. It was the fault of the British who always fought for them; otherwise who was the Hausa man to open his mouth where he was? His anger burned. The British rigged the 1959 census to give the North an inflated figure so that Tafawa Balewa could become the Prime Ministers. Which country in the world did you have more people living in the dry desert than on the coast where the availability of water made large scale human settlements possible if not in colonial Nigeria. Dandy held the white man accountable for all the evils plaguing Afrika.

“What do you want?”

“Man Power.”

“For you?”

“For me.”

A thoughtful silence.

“But you’ve never needed it. What’s the problem, my friend.”

“I have no problem Mallam Daura. I just want to be doubly sure.”

“If you want to be doubly sure then try a new woman. No medicine known to man works magic like a new woman.”

“Am I a small boy? I know all that. I have a new girlfriend that gave me tough time. I want to punish her.”

Their long standing friendship was such that they could afford to be frank with each other. Mallam Daura had seen it all, from men who asked for over dose to impress their wives to desperate men in need of love portions to charm young girls. But the women were also fighting back going by the number of big girls coming to his batcher in the dead of the night. Allah knows best. He greatly sympathized with his young friend whose new girlfriend was giving tough time.

“Hankali,” lifting a cautious hand.

“Sobode mai?” gruffly dismissing his wise counsel.

“Na che hankali.”

“Nna de hankali. Ka yi maza-maza, nweni ya na jirani a gari.”

Without a change of expression he sighed and took out a coffee tin full of brown powder. This he placed in front of the young man who was not impressed. Passing the containing under his nose Dandy quickly covered and dropped it on the mat in protest.

“But this is the very medicine you gave my German friend.”

“Yes.”

“What do you expect me to do with it?”

“It will make you strong for your new girlfriend.”

“I told you to give me original medicine and you gave me this?”

Mallam Daura then knew he had a problem in his hands. His voice was calm as he made his explanation. This medicine, he said, was all that the young man needed to defeat any woman in bed. A spoon of the powder liberally sprinkled on every meal would increase a man’s strength tenfold. The rule, of course, was for the user to avoid okoro soup or any draw soup.

“I don’t want this,” stiffly objecting. “When I say I want something strong then give me something strong.”

“This one is very strong.”

“I know but it takes days before you start feeling its effect. I want something that works instanta, which one you dey?”

The Fulani blinked and asked him just one question, “How old is your new girlfriend?”

“It’s like you’re playing pranks with me, Mallam? I say make you give me somethin’ an’ you dey question me?”

“Dandy, listen. I can’t give you something you can use to kill a young girl with. I want to help you but you must also help me to help you.”

“My girlfriend is not a small girl.”

“How old?”

“No girl in Nigeria will tell you her real age so I can’t answer that question.”

“But she’s not in secondary school?”

“What is my business with small girls?” allowing a smile. “No, she’s not a small girl.”

“No problem.”

“Ehe, now? I know I’m not sick but when a person explains to you that he’d like to be doubly sure then give him what he wants. Give me something to make me strong the whole night. I don’t know how many times to tell you that?”

“My medicine is strong. I have what you want, my friend. Don’t because a woman is very fine you want to sleep with her the whole night. You can kill her.”

“And will you be happy if she kills me?”

“Allah forbids!”

“These wicked girls are also taking medicine. They just lie there laughing at you while you kill yourself. Don’t annoy me, Mallam.”

“You be my friend. I can’t annoy you.”

“So give me what I want.”

“I go give you.”

Untying another bag the medicine man counted out three wraps which he placed on the mat between them. Then he also placed a half liter of brown liquid beside the black wraps. Dandy followed his hand as he held up one of the wraps between his fingers. His instruction was simple but he emphasized his patient must listen carefully.

“Chew and swallow one of these just before going to bed with her. You will remain strong for the whole night. If she starts complaining too much then stop and drink this,” holding up the half liter before his young friend’s eyes, “and your power will come down again. That’s all. You have enough medicine for three nights.”

“What’s that?”

“Honey.”

“It neutralizes it?”

“Yes. Once you take it the medicine go begin die.”

“What if I don’t have this honey with me? I can’t be carrying it in my pocket everywhere.”

“Drink ogogoro or any alcohol.”

“No wahala. How much?”

“Seven thousand.”

He quickly paid with a frown hovering over his face. “Mallam Daura, you go help me tell Kabiru to keep seven bags of onions for me when he returns.”

“I go tell ‘am.”

“Make ‘e call me as he’s entering Port Harcourt.”

“I go tell ‘am.”

Carefully securing his procurements he immediately took his leave just as the medicine man glued a small transistor radio to his ear for the Radio Nigeria Kaduna news update.

That was Sunday evening.

* * *

Twenty four hours later.

“Tell that Ndifreke to keep ‘im eyes open,” Dandy interrupted his mating ritual to warn. “That girl dey go out a lot for night an’ I no wan’ hear story because ‘e fit dey there she come home commot again. People dey progress but no be that boy. I wonder whether I go take ‘am back to Akwa Ibom because ‘e dey too primitive.”

“Ndifreke can’t try it,” Etete vouched.

“You go talk say na me tell you. I no trust that boy.”

Dandy dried and oiled down his torso and short legs before settling for a black long sleeve and baggy jeans. His grudges against Ndifreke were many. Ndifreke once moped while thieves made away with Dandy’s jerry can of precious fuel at a time when there was no petrol in the whole of Niger Delta. That was four thousand naira gone in a twinkle of an eye. And the last time that boy went to Cross River for bush market; did he not misplace his own traveling bag containing all his valuables? Just imagine that, a businessman forgetting himself after a night with a Calabar calabash? When I tell you say person get problem una no wan’ believe. Slapping a heavy gold bracelet on his right wrist he asked his lackeys to comment on his general appearance.

"Perfect. Only say I for prefer that your G&C T-shirt. You no go wear cap?" peered Silver from the bed.

"Cap for this kin’ hot weather? That one no be for me and you. After all, that girl na small girl. I don' know why you people dey pester me….Etete, make you stand up an’ hang that curtain. I wan’ see how this shirt match," moving to the standing mirror. "Don' overrate these girls else their head go begin swell."

Everyone in the room agreed that the long sleeve was just perfect. You sure? They praised the shirt again. Dandy sighed crossing the crowded room to the foot of the bed. Lowering his frame he elbowed Silver out of the way to create space for himself. Before putting on his shoes he ran a brush over them as he did many times before. Minutes later he stood again before the mirror enveloping each armpit with a cloud of vapour from a canister of body spray. He exhaled and fired more vapour on his lower body.

Dandy was obsessed with how he looked when meeting important people. The more affluent the person the more his mental agony, he spent a lot on fashion. Life was a torture outside this slum, in fact. If you didn’t have money in this Port Harcourt none would take you serious. Even the gate man would drive you back from seeing the person you wanted to see. Dropping the empty canister he pronounced he was ready to meet Celine.

Stumping around the room he was satisfied with his general appearance. The only problem was the trouser and he said so. Sitting on the bed again he lapsed into silence. Celine had finally agreed to sleep with him if that was what it would take to keep that dangerous Ejiro from attacking her again.

Outside was noisy as tenants returned from the market. Housewives called out to their maids as they prepared food for the evening. Every available space housed some cooking stove with food steaming. In front of the yard the men played draught while waiting to be summoned for dinner.

The last chopper to Agip droned overhead rapidly cutting altitude over the mangrove in preparation for landing. Somebody started a generator in the next yard. It was the chemist man lighting up his store in preparation for his patients some of whom were already seated waiting. In the room it was quite dark but none called for light. The moment words reached them that Celine was back they knew they’d all troupe out. There was no need bringing out Dandy’s generator.

Silver said, “But Dandy, we don’ suffer for you and this your girl. Give us something to drink.”

“Something like what?”

“Like that your brandy under the bed.”

“That brandy no concern you.”

“Why? But if Celine come now you no go waste time open ‘am.”

“I say make you leave that brandy alone. I keep that drink for my town union meeting. If you drink ‘am na you go give me money to buy another one?”

Ndifreke dashed in breathlessly with the happy news. “She’s back,” glancing in the direction of Dandy’s voice.

“Oya,” Etete was the first to stand up. “Dandy, the ball is now in your court.”

“No rush me,” but standing up all the same. “If I must chase girls must I also cheapen myself? I cannot because I want to eat meat I call a cow my uncle. This rush-rush is not good for your self-respect, I continue to tell you.”

“You be hypocrite. Which rush-rush, me an’ you who rush woman pass?”

They filed out into the passage while he bolted the window against mosquitoes before locking the door behind. He was thinking. Pulling Ndifreke aside he enquired if Celine came home alone. He had a premonition that something, like an unexpected visitor, could disrupt their plan for the evening. Celine came home alone, he was reassured. She was carrying her handbag with no one following her. Right now she’s probably undressing. That was what Dandy wanted to hear, undressing. A third party would spoil the evening. He wanted to be alone with her this very night.

Leaving the crowded balcony where a draught game was in full swing they walked the gangplank into the street. Mingling with the waterfront dwellers hurrying home they cut diagonally to the kiosk woman’s just next to their landlady’s church. The woman was measuring out liters of kerosene from a 500 liters tank to a small crowd of impatient natives. Without waiting to be served Dandy and his boys entered the store and picked their cigarettes. Giving her the correct amount they reentered the street smoking silently. It was completely dark.

It was a windy night because of the dry harmattan. Dandy was happy because of the weather. If only Port Harcourt would remain dry like this things would be a lot better. But once the rains started it was floods, floods and more floods. And too much rain brought the mosquitoes and their problems. But now people could freely walk about without their shoes getting soaked. While people prayed for dry weather here, people up North struggled for water due to desert encroachment. That was how God made this world. To one people he over blessed with water to another group he denied even a drop. In his view that was environmental determinism for you. God made man perfect but the environment recreated him. Some people liked rainy season while people like him were happier with the dry months. Tossing away his half smoked cigarette he walked towards Celine’s room without another word. The others hardly exchanged glances.

Reaching her room he knocked. Celine was expecting him. She asked him to enter. He counted up to five before pulling the door open. A lantern burned on the new center table he built her. He was hardly inside when he sensed her uneasiness as she remained seated on the big bed he also paid for. Then she looked up and asked him to sit down, shifting just a fraction for him. For a long second he stared steadily at her calm face before sitting down. Her eyes were clear even in the poor glow of the lantern. He could sense her fear and that greatly appealed to him. He liked this girl who said she was twenty three but looked seventeen.

He once lived with a young girl at Bonny during the LNG rush. Then he was working for Julius Berger and money was no problem. He had rented a batcher at Hospital Road and kept her till his appointment was terminated. Even now he still felt a deep pain whenever he remembered Dokari.

At sixteen she came to the Bonny Island to hustle. Dandy had captured her the very day she alighted from the boat and never allowed her near a night club. A village beauty just out of primary school, she said she had had just one boyfriend in the past. Dandy kept her busy by day with action movies, which she watched twelve hours everyday. At night he feasted on her body and they were both happy and satisfied.

One thing that made Dokari unforgettable, why Dandy would always do anything, anything at all for her, was because this girl never complained. She was the perfect material for marriage and Dokari had accepted to marry him when he asked but in the end it was him who disappointed her. But by dangling marriage before her Dandy was able to maintain a total control over her.

When he was laid off dropping her was not easy. This innocent girl was totally selfless in her love. Her faithfulness was beyond question and that was the problem. You could hardly fault Dokari on anything. It took her less than forty minutes to clean and tidy up their love shack in the morning. Since he prohibited her from going to the market, she remained indoors watching rented movies till he returned by six in the evening. So dropping her was not easy.

He began to beat her, not because she was guilty of any wrong doing but to justify why he must rid himself of a potential burden before she became pregnant. The stupid girl truly believed he’d marry her. To hold his affection she ate only left overs or the small ration she imposed on herself, for he accused her of being extravagant. From his bed in their single room he cried as he watched her prepare his meal. She had absolutely no idea of her own beauty. He knew that once she set foot in any night club the first white to set eyes on her would snatch her up. Watching her heavy breasts pushed against the blue spaghetti blouse he changed his mind again.

When he finally dropped her she simply crossed the street into the warm nest of call girls who had been beckoning on her for years. Out of curiosity he tailed her to a bush bar at Finima to have a first hand account of Dokari’s first night as a prostitute. The girl who took her to the joint was whisked away in a jeep leaving her on a table with four construction workers who showed unusual interest in her. They knew she was a novice and quickly administered a killer cocktail on her. Fifty minutes after entering the bar Dokari was uselessly drunk. The men sandwiched her into a Hilux and drove off.

In Bonny it was common for two friends to charter bikes and take a girl home. But in all the three years Dandy lived on the island he had never heard of four hefty men sleeping with a nineteen year old innocent girl at the same time. Without doubt he knew Dokari left with those guys not knowing what awaited her. Right there he vomited under the table and left the bar a sick man. He left Bonny the same day never wanting to see her again. But the memory of that girl being helped into the back seat of a company jeep by her corrupters became the excruciating punishment nemesis used in lashing him.

Looking at Celine a sudden fear gripped him. This girl who trembled before him might be another Dokari. He must never fall for this girl. He’d just use and dump her. No gentility, no long talk. Love for where? If he wanted a girl to marry then his village was there for him to return to and pick one, that is, if he failed to make it with Rekiya. With this resolve Dandy launched his attack.

“I’ve been waiting since 4 o’clock for you.”

“Sorry for keeping you waiting but there was no transport and I couldn’t struggle for these Port Harcourt buses,” looking down and pulling her slim fingers.

Dandy’s eyes went to her knees as she drew them together. He was pleased to see her in a blouse and simple wrapper. That meant she was ready for him. “You’re beautiful, Celine. I am happy I found you.”

She looked away and Dandy could only see the side of her face. Stretching out a cautious hand he turned her around. She didn’t resist. Their eyes met and she decided to keep back what she wanted to say. Celine made no effort to withdraw when his arm circled her waist pulling her closer. Shifting her eyes first she supinely looked up at the rack where her few dresses hung on a short pole fastened horizontally on the wall. Dandy brought his thick lips closer and touched hers. The loud jubilation coming from the men in front of the yard outside was never more welcomed.

He freed his hand before taking it up to her armpit. It was easy locating the small knot of her wrap. A gentle tug undid it and she sat naked beside him. Dandy’s tongue was deep in her mouth. Then he released her and got up feeling sick with desire. Without further delay he went and drove home the bolt on the door before kicking off his shoes.

Seeing him undress she simply drew up her feet on the mattress before lying on her side. Her face was turned away while the yellow glow of the lantern threw her still shadow on the wall in front of her. One look at those naked buttocks jutted out to him completely brought out the brute in him. Taking one of Mallam Daura’s medicines to his lips he swore to deal with this girl for the pains she caused him.

* * *

A wide-eyed Adasingo said he saw people running helter skelter so he also took off running towards the waterfront. He did not see the concrete embankment near the river and tripped falling headlong into the swamp. If not that a beached canoe broke his fall he’d probably have lost some teeth as well.

“See how I nearly broke my leg because of Dandy. If I cannot do my job as a driver won’t they sack me? And my children, what will they eat?” Limping to the wooden bench to wait his turn with the chemist man, Adasingo swore to pack out since Independence Lane was turning into something else. Just the other day the military Joint Task Force shot and killed a family man with four children in the name of fighting militants.

He stopped talking when the chemist man bent over him with a ball of cotton dipped in iodine. I an’ I grimaced horribly as searing pain hit his septuagenarian brain. “Wait, wait let me adjust my leg a little. Wait o.”

“Wait for where? Pour ‘am the whole bottle of iodine, you hear?” The electrician was completely merciless in his scathing remark, “No be tomorrow you go wear jeans go dance reggae with your mates or you no go be Rasta again? Old papa wey they lick soup.”

Adasingo groaned as Mr. Ironini came and instructed the chemist man to use Hydrogen Peroxide on the wounds since iodine was too painful. Turning from Eugene he told Adasingo’s wives to return to their house and mind the children as their husband was not dying. After closely studying the wounds he pronounced them a minor scratch and nothing to be worried about. They were nothing serious.

“Nothing serious?” the electrician mocked. “My prayer na for them to cut that leg off make I see how ‘e go leave ‘im two wife go gyration with small boys wey ‘im fit born. You go soon broke your hand.”

Mr. Ironini mildly rebuked him before withdrawing to keep the crowd under control. No one should go near that boy till the landlord arrives, he said. The entire Independence Lane emptied into the street forming a huge crowd in front of the yard. More questions than answers troubled everyone; questions such as what could possibly drive a sane young man into this type of life style.

“Na unemployment turn these young men into criminals,” theorised a neighbour whose graduate son was notorious womaniser.

People gazed at Celine’s door held in place by the lower hinge. The glow from the kerosene lantern barely lit up the interior of the room where a strained voice could be heard crying in great agony. Heart wrenching sobs followed by pathetic pleas for a swift death was heard coming from the room.

The only voice that rose into the night was Dandy’s mad raving coming from inside the yard.

“You people must leave me to take care of this business.” He was heard from the street. “My life is finished! I go kill that boy, just wait and see.”

Mr. Ironini located the landlady, “Where is your husband?”

“I don’t know,” she wailed, running in all directions. “He goes out to drink at night.”

“Oya! Send somebody to go and summon him. I’ve been trying his number but it appears his phone is off.”

“He left his phone at home because the battery is down. My son is searching for him right now. Mr. Ironini, I take God beg you no allow people burn down my house.”

“Why would anyone do that?”

“Some boys from waterfront say them go burn my house. I am finished!” the landlady blew her nose into the loose end of her wrapper.

Turning to the few tenants he trusted, “No body must near that boy or harm him. This is a matter for the police. Touch a hair of his head and the police will come and arrest everyone here. I think the landlord will soon be here. No one should cross this gutter.”

* * *

What happened was that Dandy was gleefully taking the poor girl apart with a great deal of sadism when two rats probably mating on the rafters directly overhead fell on them. Celine had let out a yelp as she tried to scramble out of bed but Dandy held her down in a firm grip from behind. Don’t panic it’s only some harmless rats, he fiercely whispered.

The rodents were already lost somewhere in the far end of the room where the stove and washing buckets were arranged in a corner. He resumed his thrusts with renewed vigour.

But she was shaken.

Searching the rafters for crawling things she lost momentary interest in their love making. Those rats could be fleeing from a dangerous snake when they tumbled down on them and she begged Dandy to wait. A movement in the shadows overhead heightened her apprehension. Placing both hands on the wall she exerted some force throwing him off. He was unbalanced.

“Wait!” Dandy’s agonising wail completely immobilized her. In grabbing her pelvic to regain his balance he found himself clutching at a flaccid organ and two testicles. Lifting himself over her shoulder, “What am I seeing or are my eyes deceiving me? Wetin be this?” Frantically turning her round he made a grab for the white brassier. His effort yielded two sachets of water. “Celine you be man?”

Silver and the others had finished their cigarettes before joining the draught game in front of the yard. None was prepared for what happened next. A yell of terror shattered the night as a naked man canon balled from Celine’s room right into the street sending passers-by screaming in every direction.

Anything was possible in Independence Lane. Anyone caught in a raid would have a hard time securing his freedom because this zone was a haven for breeding hardened criminals. Seeing a fully grown man in full flight without shirt and trouser was unnerving. Everyone scampered. What to fear was not the quarry but what was pursuing it. And you didn’t wait to find out.

The naked figure made for the waterfront in a blind dash, halted abruptly when some force checked him, spurn round and ran back right towards the men in front of the yard. It was dark for anyone to positively identify him but the frightful sounds coming from him reminded any religious person who heard them of John’s apocalyptic leviathan. It was simply impossible for those smoking with him not long ago to match the arrogant Dandy with such frightful noise. The running beast fell but managed to pick himself up almost immediately.

Hearing the word “militants” from a fleeing youth the electrician broke the spell and dashed off just as the chemist man slammed his double door shut. In the mad scramble for the passage caution was thrown to the wind. It was safety first. The last man to enter the passage slammed and bolted the door.

Reaching the door Dandy gave one frightful yell that echoed down the deserted street. His speech ended in a blabbering but tenants recognised his voice.

“Listen, Etete. That’s Dandy’s voice and it’s like he’s calling you outside,” Silver opined from the top of the wardrobe where he took cover.

“No! It was your name that I heard, sense man.”

“But listen. That’s Dandy’s voice.”

“Dandy’s with Celine.” Etete showed his face from under the heavy form on top of his bed.

The unmistakable voice of Mr. Ironini was heard in the passage demanding for explanation from the screaming man outside. Dandy calmed down and identified himself. He begged to be let in because he was in trouble. Yes…no. No, I am alone. Please open the door, he pleaded.

The bolt was drawn and hurrying feet ran into the passage. Seconds later Dandy was in Etete’s room.

“Bring me ogogoro,” grabbing a wrapper from the bed.

“Dandy?”

“Etete, I take God beg you. Run to the kiosk woman and get me one bottle of ogogoro.”

“For what? What happened?”

“I go tell you but first get ‘am.”

“Hei! Don’t take a step,” Mr. Ironini stepped in. “Dandy, do you know the harm you’ve caused this very night? Are you aware that you can be charged for false alarm?”

“I’m sorry, sir.”

“That is not enough. Silver climb down from that wardrobe and take a seat. What happened?”

“Celine is not a girl,” Dandy shook like a leaf.

“What do you mean?”

He fearfully whispered his story. “Oga, as I found myself standing naked in front of my fellow man I just turned and ran.”

“You are an idiot. You saw a naked man and began to scream. In your village were you permitted to see a naked woman when you go to the stream for a bath? Don’t you bath side by side with other naked men?”

“Oga, this one is different.”

“How? Unless you’re not telling us the whole truth.”

“I’ve told you the whole truth, sir,” sneezing loudly from cold.

“We shall see.” Appealing to those around to bear him witness, he warned the naked man holding a wrapper to shield his nakedness, “Go back to your room and remain there. Do not leave this yard till I send for you because people are calling for your head outside.”

“Mr. Ironini, sir, I can’t. My keys are in the side pocket of the jeans I left in his room.”

“Young man,” turning to Etete, “follow me and retrieve his clothes. The police could be here any moment and he must be ready to meet them.”

A horrified Etete knelt down pleading to be left out, “I can’t go near Celine even if he’s still a girl. The whole thing is like a bad dream.”

Silver volunteered. “What’s in it? If Dandy can do it why not me? I don’t trust myself not to demolish him if I entered there and find him looking sweet in those high heels.”

This careless remark drew the ire of Mr. Ironini who gave the whole bunch of them a dressing down. “You’re a disgrace to your families,” he scolded in a subdued voice. “Look at the disgraceful show of shame Dandy put up this night. I challenge any of you to account for the money you made last year if you’re not delinquents,” allowing himself to be dragged off by another tenant with Silver trailing behind.

Outside a restive crowd confronted them with questions about what was wrong. Some tenants detached themselves from the train going to recover Dandy’s cloths to gossip with the crowd. In a matter of minutes the news spread that a homosexual had been caught in the yard.

Mr. Ironini was surprised to find the boy weeping in his decrepit room. Why hadn’t he run away? For a long minute he stood staring down at the bowed figure. To think that this boy could deceive everyone into believing he was a girl, shaking his head.

Something serious must be wrong somewhere, he concluded signaling Silver to pick Dandy’s clothes from the floor. They walked back towards the veranda. That was when he saw the electrician castigating Adasingo who sat groaning in front of the chemist store and rushed over.

* * *

Chief got hint of what happened while at Lumumba Street. As he approached his house he took off his Niger Delta hat lengthening his strides. Seeing him the milling crowd howled and cursed. They were those who squarely blamed him for the unhappy happenings one was seeing in Independence Lane in recent times. The landlord was blamed for bringing homosexuals into this ghetto. This boy broke somebody’s mirror yesterday, they complained. Today, he had tricked an innocent man into believing he was a woman just because of money. Who knows what could happen tomorrow? Opinion favoured dealing with him there and then, together with the man who gave him accommodation.

Accurately reading the pervading mood Mr. Ironini immediately pulled the landlord inside the yard the moment he arrived. Four tenants were sent to bring down the boy to prevent people from molesting him. Any other person not a male tenant in the yard was expelled from Chief’s parlour. The only nuisance was Adasingo who hobbled in and out of the room to gossip with neighbours in the street much to everyone’s exasperation.

He gave his real name as Ismaila Gimba, a native of Southern Zaria in Kaduna State. His father served in the Nigerian Army and when he retired they continued to live at the Rukuba Barracks till army people asked them to leave. They went back to Kaduna but his father died shortly after. When he came to Rivers State his first accommodation was in Bori Camp before moving into Independence Lane, he sobbed.

"Are you a Christian or a Moslem?"

“A moslem.”

“You’re not telling us the truth. Any moslem who dresses like a woman in the North is flogged by the alkali.”

“They flogged me so I ran away.”

“Why did they flog you?”

He wouldn’t comment and he wasn’t pressed.

"Mr. Gimba tell us why you fooled everyone in this yard into believing you were a woman?"

"I didn’t fool anyone."

"Are you wanted by the law? You told us your father was a service man, his friends could still help you," Mr. Ironini pointed out.

"I am not wanted by the law."

Many of those crowded in the passage vehemently disputed him. If he wasn’t a criminal why the disguise? This boy must be an armed robber, to God. He appeared one of those who passed as innocent people by day only to pick up guns at night. This dangerous speculation was ruthlessly hushed up by the men who sat with Chief in the parlour. Everyone should keep his opinion to himself, they warned.

"It is criminal of you to go about dressed like a woman, Ismaila Gimba. Tell us why you disguised yourself; we are here to help you. At least you have not done anything wrong yet..."

"Oga Ironini," a fierce bandit from the waterfront threatened, "Oga Ironini, I don't support what you people are doing inside there. Hand that boy over to the police or leave us to burn him alive. We don't want homosexuals here. Even the Bible condemns what he did."

"The same Bible also condemns fornication and drunkenness, idiot. And what wrong did he do, if I may ask?"

"Oh, you don't know?"

"Tell me."

"You don't know what he did to Dandy?"

"Did Dandy tell you this boy did something to him? I was the first to interview him after he ran naked up and down the street screaming. Dandy disgraced himself when he entered this boy’s room and undressed. Did he tell you this boy undressed him? No. Did he tell you this boy entered his room and attacked him? No. Have you ever been cross-examined in court?"

“Excuse me…excuse, please.” Adasingo excitedly pushed his way out to give those in the street the latest gist. Ochulo would be grateful to hear that this boy could be a terrible armed robber on the wanted list. His wounds were all but forgotten.

"This boy collected a lot of things from Dandy by pretending to be a woman," the waterfront dweller challenged. By now he had completely lost all patience with Mr. Ironini and he said so. Dandy was his paddy man and he wanted swift justice.

"That's correct, by pretending to be a woman. But does that make him a homosexual? If you're telling me he tricked money out of unsuspecting men then I will believe you and I don't think I will stop anyone from handing him over to the police. That is stealing by trick. But calling him what he’s not, my young man, is an entirely different thing."

“A thief is a thief whether ‘e dey thief with gun or not. We go deal with ‘am.”

“Look, what do they call you? You’re a serious nuisance and you have no reason being here. If you have no solution then shut your mouth, you hear? Shut your mouth and allow those with the mind to handle this.”

"Okay, find out how much he made tricking unsuspecting men."

"And what do you think I have been doing the whole night?"

It was precisely that very moment that orange and blue flashes followed by the fearful wail of a police siren cut right into his speech forcing him to pause and look outside like anyone else.

Chigachi Eke is an Igbo entrepreneur living in Port Harcourt. He is married and well travelled.

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