Uzokwe's Searchlight


...seemingly talking to herself or himself and smiling broadly. When I was still growing up in Nnewi, when you saw such things, you instantly assumed that the person was mentally deranged (onye ala). These days, it is called talking on the cell phone.
Monday, August 2, 2004


Alfred Obiora Uzokwe

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n 1978, to keep in touch with my folks living in the United States, I used to go to NITEL in Lagos, stand in line, pay, get a receipt and then wait while the operator dialed my relatives. "Obiora Uzokwe, booth number 3", the operator would yell as soon as my relatives were on the line. I would hurry into my assigned booth, speaking as fast as I could to make good use of the five-minute time that I usually paid for. Of course, phone answering machines were unheard of then, so if my folks failed to answer the phone, one would have to make a return trip to NITEL. That of course was then, this is now.

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These days, my relatives in Nigeria do not have to go through the same types of hassles to get in touch with me here in Pennsylvania; they can easily pick up the phone at home and dial my number direct without the intervention of a middleman. Also, if they call and I am not home, they could always leave messages on my answering machine. Better yet, if the message is not an emergency, they could leave me an email and I would read it whenever I could and respond. Technology has continued to advance by leaps and bounds in all spheres of life and it is safe to say that for the most part, this advancement has unquestionably made life easier for all.

However, some of the technologies that make our lives so good and enjoyable can sometimes annoy and even inconvenience. The other day, I was running late for a meeting and so sped as fast as I could into the parking garage. Unfortunately, finding a parking spot became a problem. I started searching frantically, ramping up from level to level without much luck. Finally, as I got to the uppermost floor, a car was pulling out. I slammed on the brakes and waited impatiently while the driver gingerly backed out and soon the spot was empty.

I quickly pulled into the spot, stepped out and swung around to the other side of the car. Just as I leaned into the back seat to retrieve my portfolio, a deafening sound, capable of piercing the eardrum and rattling even the steeliest nerves ensued. The suddenness of the sound and its high pitch had actually unnerved this writer. I quickly pulled back my head from my car to ascertain what was happening and noticed that the sound worsened; it felt like the decibel level had been ratcheted up several notches. It was now bouncing off of my eardrums and ricocheting back from the solid concrete parapet walls that marked the garage boundaries. Just then, I realized that the sound was coming from the car parked next to mine. Then it hit me: anti-theft alarm! The alarm in the car parked beside mine had deployed and was blaring with reckless abandon even though I did nothing (to my knowledge) to trigger it. I stood there for a moment wondering why the alarm deployed even though I did not touch the car. Clearly, there was still ample space between the black luxury car and mine and I could not have inadvertently touched it. "This is insane", I muttered under my breadth and then leaned back into my car and picked up my portfolio.

As I began to walk away, a lady in a Volkswagen car pulled up, took one look at the car and then started looking at me. I was almost certain that she was wondering if I did anything fishy but at that moment, I had had it with the ear bursting sound and could care less what anyone thought. Anti-theft alarms are good crime deterrents but can be overly annoying when they suddenly deploy for no good reason. I particularly detest the ones that would suddenly deploy and start blaring messages like, "you are too close to this car, step back�" I have even witnessed situations where sudden increase in wind gust triggered car alarms, obviously embarrassing the person(s) closest to the vehicles at the time. This is a classic case of a useful technology that can sometimes annoy or even embarrass big time

This brings me to the issue of computers. In the past, computers were only available in large corporations but technological advancement, which led to the pc revolution, has practically placed personal computers on the desks of every conceivable average household in the western world. You could use it for word processing, going online to perform a variety of activities, checking your account balances, moving money from one bank to the other, making purchases, sending emails and for designers like me, you could now email architectural or engineering drawings from one end of the world to the other. That is all good. Use of the computer to transact such confidential businesses mean that the issue of security cannot be ignored, otherwise, the information transmitted from one place to the other would simply become public record and sophisticated 419ers would be having a field day. To entrench security, the issue of user Ids and passwords come into play. For the various activities enumerated above, one has to have a set of passwords and user Ids. The average computer user, at every point in time, maintains and is expected to remember at least 10 sets of passwords and user Ids! Therein lies the hassle. Every time I want to do a transaction via my bank, I have to supply my user ID and password to log in, then of course a pin number. Then to log into my PC at work, I need another set of user Id and password; then another set to get into the mainframe. Yet another to check my official emails! And to view information about the projects I manage, I have to supply another set of user Id and password to ensure that nobody else could access the project info. Then of course, if I want to check my office phone messages, I have to supply another set of password and another for retrieving my official cell phone messages. When one adds this to the other sets of user Ids and passwords needed to run other private activities, like getting into my private email and more, the number of passwords that one needs to remember becomes overwhelming.

The biggest part is that many business concerns do not seem to recognize the dilemma of the computer user because they seem to be "cyberizing" more of their activities. For example, I just found out that the fitness center where I go to would soon cyberize all their activities. When that is done, one would maintain yet another set of password to access my payment and usage information, make payment online as well as conduct re-enrollment exercise online. I do not know about the reader, but it has become a challenge to be remembering all these passwords.

I tried to solve the remembrance problem by jotting down the passwords and user Ids in my diary. Then it hit me, if it is ever stolen or misplaced, all those passwords, which are supposed to be confidential, would be lost to a potential intruder. Not too long after that, I acquired a Compaq IPAQ and began to use it for recording my password information and other tasks. However, to make sure that it was secure, I had to have it passworded! I love technology; you use one technology to solve the problems created by another and sales continue to boom for the inventors. The reader should not get me wrong, I love technology, I am simply whining aloud.

The other day, I was walking into one of the stores from a parking lot and as I approached the store, I noticed a lady coming in my direction. As she got closer, with a smile, she seemed to say something like "so how is everything going?" Of course I smiled back and instantly responded, "pretty good and you?" At this point however, something strange happened, the lady walked right by me and never even acknowledged my response. Looking back at her, I saw a tiny, nearly unobtrusive piece of wire dangling from her ear. It dawned on me that she was actually talking on the phone! I felt somewhat stupid that I had responded to a greeting that was not meant for me but the point is that this is increasingly happening.

These days, sometimes you would see someone pacing a parking lot or an open space, seemingly talking to herself or himself and smiling broadly. When I was still growing up in Nnewi, when you saw such things, you instantly assumed that the person was mentally deranged (onye ala). These days, it is called talking on the cell phone. All this is happening because of the revolution that swept in unobtrusive cell phone ear and mouthpieces. The phone could be discretely tucked into the pocket while the tiny ear and mouth pieces could be placed in such a way that they are not easily seen, especially from a certain distance.

Technological revolution has also been felt in the automobile industry in many ways. With Global Positioning Systems (GPS) and Automatic Vehicle Location systems (AVL), the sky is the limit of inventors in that arena. I have however seen a situation, although rare, where a GPS system in a car, which was supposed to guide the driver, actually pointed the driver the wrong way. I have also witnessed a situation, where the power window button in a car, which was supposed to provide convenience and by extension comfort, actually failed at a very critical moment and became an inconvenience while bringing on discomfort. The case in point is described below.

One afternoon, right after work, I went to the parking garage and picked up my car. The inside was a little warm so I pushed the power button to roll down the driver side window to expel the warm and humid air. At that instant, the window smoothly glided down into its pouch. A few seconds later, as I exited the parking garage, I pushed the power button again to send the window back up but I only heard a lousy sound but the window would not come out of "hiding." After several tries, I gave up and decided to deal with the problem at home so I drove on with the window down.

Half way home, the rumble of thunder echoed in the distance and then the skies opened up and the rain started pouring. I tried again to close the window by pushing the power button but my efforts proved futile. By the time I got to the nearest gas station to seek shelter from the rain, I was soaked. It was ironic that someone in a car should drive into a gas station, under its canopy, to seek shelter from the rain. The lesson? Power window, just like other new technology, may be great but can disappoint and inconvenience at the same time, without giving the victim an immediate alternative. Frankly, when the power button failed me, I missed my old car with the ever-reliable handle for cranking up the windows. The handles, although seemingly primitive now, never disappointed me throughout the many years that I had the jalopy.

That brings me to the vibrating cell phones. They are great of course. No more annoying phone rings during meetings. Have you ever noticed however that these days, a perfectly normal person, speaking during important meetings suddenly jerks or twitches without an apparent cause? Whenever you see that, be aware that the person is wearing a cellphone set to "vibrate" rather than ring. It is somewhat more distracting than a phone ringing because if every one hears a phone ring, it is more tolerable than noticing that a meeting facilitator suddenly makes a jerking movement or twitches without an apparent cause.

As stated before, technology advancement still outweighs the inconveniences they bring along and this writer is only whining out loud. Have a great weekend.