Uzokwe's Searchlight

This writer expected that a man that arrogated so much authority to himself would have gracefully walked into the Senate chambers and say to them: ''confirm me if you like'' and quietly walk away.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006



Alfred Obiora Uzokwe

ANNOUNCE THIS ARTICLE TO YOUR FRIENDS
FANI KAYODE, PRESIDENT'S ASSISTANT, APOLOGIZES TO NIGERIANS, BEGS FOR CONFIRMATION!
advertisement



s I was getting ready to pen this commentary, I came across a cartoon that caught my attention. The caption read: "Like Father like Son". In the cartoon, someone presumed to be General Obasanjo asks someone presumed to be Fani Kayode: "So son, how did you get the Senate to confirm you for the ministerial position?" Fani Kayode responded, "I used the trick you always use, I told them I was a born again!" Like father like son indeed. Go figure.


advertisement
I could not find the source of the cartoon so as to give the appropriate credits but whoever put it together is a genius. It captured the essence of what transpired, last week, in the Senate, during the confirmation hearings for the new ministerial appointees. The reader should recall that the president sent a list of six people to the Senate for confirmation. The confirmation process would have been uneventful but for the fact that Fani Kayode, the unruly, arrogant and egomaniacal presidential assistant on public communications, aka presidential attack dog, was one of the six nominees that went before the Senate.

Why is this writer singling out Kayode's confirmation hearing for discussion? The answer is simple. This man was the special assistant to the president on public communications. Indubitably, this is a position that should normally be occupied by an amiable, well spoken and a well-mannered personality. Fani Kayode, however, turned it into a position for insulting, abusing and raining unprintable invectives on Nigerians of all hues, social and educational standing. Anyone, no matter how highly placed, who criticized General Obasanjo's policy, was fair game for this man. He knew no bounds and he was afraid of no one because he had presidential protection. Members of the press have at various times reported getting intimidating calls or text messages from the man whenever he did not like their writings.

Sometime in December of 2004, Fani Kayode ratcheted his "madness" several notches up. Olusegun Obasanjo had invited Professor Chinua Achebe to accept a so-called national award. This was at a time when Anambra state was suffering under the yoke of bondage placed on it by people very close to the president. It was the expectation of many peace-loving Nigerians that Obasanjo would step in and call his lackeys to order. He did not do that.

In rejecting Obasanjo's award, the literary giant, Chinua Achebe, wrote,

"I have watched particularly the chaos in my own state of Anambra where a small clique of renegades, openly boasting its connections in high places, seems determined to turn my homeland into a bankrupt and lawless fiefdom. I am appalled by the brazenness of this clique and the silence, if not connivance, of the Presidency"
Clearly, the point Achebe was making was that it made no sense to confer honors on him when the greatest honor that should be conferred on him, the restoration of peace in his home state, was elusive by design. Of course the roaring tiger of Aso Rock smelt blood and waded in. Fani Kayode responded to Achebe as only he would. Hear him, "no matter how distinguished and resourceful a person you are and no matter how brilliant and gifted an individual you are, if you feel that your country does not deserve to honour you, then we believe that you certainly do not deserve your country". Nigerians were baffled that this man had the temerity to arrogate to himself, the authority of dictating who deserved Nigeria or not. He insulted Achebe just because the man stated the truth about his home state. The above is just an example of the depth Kayode went to "do his job" and he did it to very many.

Fani Kayode represented everything that a public official should not be. He had no manners and he had no qualms about it. The senate therefore wanted to take time to grill him, shove back, in his face, all the humiliation he had subjected many to. One is almost sure that many of the senators wanted to provide for him a rope to hang himself by pushing him to the limits during the hearing so that his real self would emerge. They were hoping that he would unleash his usual arrogant and abusive tirade on them. That would have provided them a good reason to reject his nomination. Unfortunately, he did not take the bait. The man that took pride in abusing people became "contrite". From a loud-mouthed braggart, he turned into a big mouse, groveling for confirmation. This writer expected that a man that arrogated so much authority to himself would have gracefully walked into the Senate chambers and say to them: "confirm me if you like" and quietly walk away. No, he did not do that. He entered the Senate chambers with shifty eyes, wobbly legs and sweaty palms and then crouched over, hoping for sympathy. He wanted the job so badly that he had to invoke every thing he could lay his hands on. He told the Senate that he was now a born again Christian. Infact, he invoked the issue of "born again Christian" so much that the Senate president, Ken Nnamani, had to warn him not to turn the senate hall into a religious one! The "mighty" indeed fell!

At a time, this rudeness of a man probably felt that the Senate was not buying the born again Christian line so he outrightly apologized to Nigerians. Hear him, "I want to use this opportunity to apologize to all those I may have offended in the course of doing my job. The regret that I have doing the job is hurting some people," How sincere is the apology? Well, no one can tell because people could do anything in desperation and once the desperate moments blow over, they revert back to their old selves. The apology, the frequent reference to himself as a born again Christian and the talk about his bout with depression, shows how desperate the man was for the job. He was willing to lay it all out there to be confirmed. What the senate should have done was to ask him to send written apologies to all the notable figures he insulted like Chinua Achebe, Wole Soyinka, Gowon and then take out a full page advert and apologize to all Nigerians. This way, when he starts arrogating power again to himself as a minister, people would remind him about what he did during the confirmation hearings.

When the issue of third term was raging, I mentioned in one of my commentaries that those championing the cause were political jobbers like Fani Kayode who would have a lot to lose if the third term bid failed. People like him must have calculated that if the third term bid succeeded, they would be retained for the next four years and so they fought for it with vigor. In the case of Kayode, he abused every one that was against it. After the failure of the tenure elongation, it dawned on him that with his character, he had no real chances in any subsequent government so he got desperate. When he was therefore nominated for the ministerial position, a reward Obasanjo deliberately gave him for doing his dirty job, he became determined to do whatever it took to be confirmed. Judging from the desperation he displayed in front of the senate, if he had been asked to go on his knees before them, he may have done that.

If Kayode were told that he would one day sit in front of the men of the Senate, grovelling for confirmation, one was almost sure that he would not believe it but that was exactly what happened. He was practically begging for confirmation. The Vanguard of June 18, 2006 says, "Fani-Kayode begs, gets Senate's clearance". Indeed, he begged and begged and begged. The "mighty" has fallen!

There is an Igbo adage that says, "If I have to beg so much for something to eat, where would I find the mouth to eat the food if it is eventually given to me?" Fani Kayode begged so much to be confirmed. Where would he find the respect and charisma necessary to discharge his duties as a minister? Infact, he should now be christened the "begging minister" and referred to as such from this moment on. There is a lesson for Nigerians to learn from all this, though. As the Great Zik would say, no condition is permanent. He better know that the media will follow his performance as a minister all the way to 2007. He hates being criticized but this time, he has become a fair game and criticize him the media will.

The fall of the "mighty" continues in Nigeria! First it was the defeat of the third term bid that Obasanjo had hoped to shove down the collective throats of Nigerians. Now it is the loud mouth of Aso Rock, crouching over in "contrition", looking sullen and asking Nigerians for forgiveness all because he wants to taste power this last time before PDP implodes. Wonders shall never end.

HERE I STAND