f Nigeria's story were put in a music form, it would be a symphony - an unfinished symphony. The movements and the sonata are so vast. Below is a little quiz that will tell you how much of this composition you know.

Question 1: What did Sokoto student, Mohammad Ali, say to the Sharia court that got him free from amputation?

(a) Mohammed Ali is my brother.
(b) I fought for the Talibans.
(c) Abacha is my godfather.
(d) I am not really a Nigerian. I walked in through Niger border.
(e) My arm is artificial.
(f) I am now a Christian.
(g) My stepfather is Ibrahim Babangida.

Question 2: Human parts market is booming in Lagos because.?

(a) Alan Greenspan slashed interest rates 11th time this year.
(b) More and more senile men are volunteering themselves for slaughter.
(c) OPC is having a closedown sale.
(d) Imo State University has successfully cloned Clement Orji.
(e) Idi Ami has renounced his vegetarianism.
(f) Lagos pastors are preparing for a pay-per-view www slam jam.
(g) Many Nigerians are living in bondage.

Question 3: Which of these was not used to describe the Electoral Act signed into law by Obasanjo?

(a) Daylight Robbery.
(b) Civilian Coup.
(c) Presidential 419.
(d) A path to dictatorship.
(e) Undemocratic.
(f) Maradonic.
(g) Unconstitutional.

Question 4: America disowned Biafra because.?

(a) Biafra did not show up on CIA's map.
(b) The White House could not find its copy of the Biafran flag.
(c) Jubril Aminu told America he has Biafra in his babariga.
(d) Ikemba said Biafra is in his mind.
(e) Ralph Uwazurike stood President Bush up during a state dinner.
(f) Biafra called its house an Embassy.
(g) Nobody speaks Igbo at the States Department.

Question 5: Which of these men is not senile?

(a) Olusegun Obasanjo.
(b) Prof. Sam Aluko.
(c) Senator Joseph Waku.
(d) Abubakar Rimi.
(e) Adamu Ciroma.
(f) Pius Anyim.
(g) All of the above.

Question 6: Which of these will earn you a death sentence in Kano State?

(a) Looking at the Quran with a bad eye.
(b) Trampling on the Quran with a car.
(c) Wearing a mini-skirt 100 meters from a Quran.
(d) Placing a bottle of beer 10 cm near a Quran.
(e) Reading the Quran without washing your hands.
(f) Writing materials like this.
(g) All of the above.

Question 7: How was Prophet Chukwudi Azuzu's death threat delivered?

(a) Through a GSM phone.
(b) By anthrax-laced letter.
(c) A letter bomb.
(d) A revelation from heaven.
(e) Through an Okada driver.
(f) By a beggar.
(g) From men who damaged his Yamaha generator.

Question 8: Why did Waku rule out second term for Obasanjo?

(a) He caught Obasanjo in bed with the Jukuns.
(b) Joseph Takar appeared in his dream.
(c) Benue River is turning into blood.
(d) The makers of Waku Coup are set to go.
(e) Middle Belt has broken up with the North.
(f) Bongos Ikwue is running for President.
(g) The Tivs are angry.

Question 9: "The Adulteress Diary" is widely regarded as the best-written article published in the last few weeks on the Internet. Who wrote it?

(a) Wada Nas.
(b) Nelson Fashina.
(c) Tonye David-West.
(d) M.O. Ene.
(e) Wole Soyinka.
(f) Reuben Abati.
(g) Sanusi Lamido Sanusi.

Question 10: Which 'iti bolibo' said to Agbani Darego that her crowning as Miss World was, "One of the happiest moment in the country."?

(a) Pius Anyim.
(b) Pius Anyim.
(c) Pius Anyim.
(d) Pius Anyim.
(e) Pius Anyim.
(f) Pius Anyim.
(g) Pius Anyim.

Answers:

1.) f
2.) f
3.) f
4.) f
5.) g
6.) b
7.) g
8.) g
9.) g
a, b, c, d, e, f, g