FEATURE ARTICLE

Monday, April 12, 2021
balooy2k@gmail.com
Arizona, USA
CONVERSATIONAL: BUHARI GOES TO LONDON FOR MEDICAL TOURISM

Buhari, off again

Citizen YB:

ey! Mr. indifference, oh sorry! President. Where are you going? You seem calm and frail in your demeanor.

Mr. President:

I am going to London for a medical check-up, but you guys call it medical tourism. Are you okay dear, citizen? You seem burdened with opportunistic expectations.

Citizen YB:

No, Mr. President! I should be the one to ask you if you are doing okay, sir! People are not happy with you and your government. This is not the plebeians' mandate and socioeconomic and political contracts they signed with you on Friday, 29 May 2015, and Wednesday, May 22, 2019.

Mr. President:

Which mandate? Well, I am okay. I am still your President. I am only going to Queen's Island for a routine medical check-up. I hope you citizens will not be too lazy and silly to cynically wish me cloned like you did when a strange ailment incapacitated me in 2017? Do you want anything from the Queen of England on my return?

Citizen YB:

(Citizen YB becomes irate and incensed with Mr. President's needless quibble). Medical check-up? Why are you not receiving medical treatments from your highly rated medical doctors in Nigeria? Are you jetting out because your citizens in the medical profession are embarking on indefinite strikes? Mr. President, this not a fibbing conversation. Your citizens are suffering amid plenty. People are dying from needless afflictions, and you're talking about "returns" from the Queen's Island?

Mr. President:

(chuckles): Kai, kai….., citizen YB…kai manna! I go for a routine medical check-up every year. My wellness and healthcare come first, then governance and leadership with all their utopian expectations can follow.

Citizen YB:

Sir, leadership is accountability and responsibility to the people. Your citizens, out of frustration, are allowed to go on self-exile for greener pastures. Mr. President, isn't it a shame for a leader of the most potentially prosperous and wealthiest nation in Africa to be going on medical transportation to Queen Elizabeth's land? Compare all the ramshackle private, public healthcare institutions and University Teaching Hospitals in Nigeria with other healthcare centers worldwide. You will realize that we are all in serious trouble as ordinary citizens in Nigeria. Take medical travel, leisure, and tours to other advanced countries; you will see many of your boisterous citizens as Medical Directors, Professors of medicine, Directors of Nursing Facilities, Doctors, and other medical providers using state-of-the-art technology and facilities to do their jobs. I am sure most of your London medical providers in your care unit are Nigerians. Debunk my honest postulation if you like, Mr. President! It's sadly and frustratingly true.

Mr. President:

It is not shameful but pride to see my citizens scattered as professionals in their various callings abroad, contributing to global healthcare development. We have created a conducive environment for them to come back home.

Citizen YB:

Ehn..? Whaaat??? Come home to come and die or do what Mr. President? I can go on and on….to give you the list of the frustrated diaspora Nigerians who have attempted to go back home. Why did your citizens who are medical personnel go on strikes in Nigeria? The reasons are not far-fetched, sir. Apart from their commonsense demands from your government, the basic infrastructural amenities are nonexistent in Nigeria. Roads are death traps; our local commercial flights are not airworthy. You want Nigerian professionals in the diaspora to come back home? How their professional counterparts in Nigeria manage to practice their medical profession is beyond rational comprehension, sir!

Mr. President:

(now in rattling mode). Citizen YB. I have to board my waiting flight to London. Osibanjo, the Vice President, will take care of the government's business until I come back from Queen Elizabeth's homeland…… (Mr. President sauntered to the steps of his humming presidential jet…Nigerian Airforce waiting for him to take-off).

CitizenYB:

Mr. President, I am one of the presidential entourage. We can continue our conversation at the conference room of the Nigerian Airforce's cockpit. ( As Citizen YB ambulated towards Mr. President, his security details briskly curtailed him from further interviews, signaling the usual frustration of a typical disgruntled Nigerian).

Citizen YB began a soliloquy: as the Nigerian Airforce took off and disappeared into the rancorous cloud of Nigeria, Citizen YB's mind sauntered into the hopelessness of a nation in distress of leadership. In his mind, YB retorted to one of the rueful chapters of our book of Lamentations: Nigeria's citizens are in the long-haul suffering on a famished cloud in a journey to nowhere! Who will save Nigeria? We reposed our mandate in the hands of the old General Buhari. We fought for him; the skeptics wailed, the Buharists jabbed and pounded the wailers with writings. All our brawling silliness with one another and the social contract we signed with Mr. Integrity have come to null. We are now back to the pre-2015 conundrum of Goodluck Ebele Jonathan's wasted years.

Mr. integrity's hyped integrity has now fizzled into the firmament of cursed Nigerian politics. We were warned by genuine wailers that the old General Buhari is weakened and senile. The wailers were right, and "We the Buharists" were wrong. It took the real Buharists some time to notice the deliberate indifference and nepotism of a leader we signed a social contract with! The former wailers and the current wailing wailers (we the Buharists) are now entangled in the same web of disappointment—an insignia of a contraption in a wasteland. "Who will save Nigeria?" This is another dark chapter in the Nigerian book of Lamentations.

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