|Tuesday, April 14, 2020|
r. Coro also knows as Mr. COVID-19 has coronally triggered an unsolicited national conversation on national television. Mr. Coro has made everyone to compulsorily stay at home to watch on television, the rib-cracking jokes and infertile behavior of homo sapiens!
Pay cursory attention to this conversation as the world is wrapped up in melancholy.
The conversation goes thus:
TV presenter: Good afternoon, sir!
The self-styled Homily: Good afternoon "guy-man"
TV presenter: Meet Mr. Lagbaja. (The television anchorman "wrongly" introduced 'Mr. Homily' to the public on a show as "Mr." only, without including other idiosyncratic titles known about Naija. The heaven was let loose (réré rún), the "Chief" was enraged and burst into uncontrollable anger):
The self-styled Homily: (becomes the anchorman). Point of correction Mr. Presenter. My name is Chief., Mr., Prof., Alhaji or Pastor Lagbaja. Ph.D., NIM, MIRPM, etc........!
But the real sacred title most Naija people don't add (no dey put for) to his name is RIP}.
In Nigeriana, we all pray and wish to go to heaven, but we are too afraid to die. This above conversational message from the duo reiterated the flaunting of nothingness in our clime. Every College lecturer in the United is a professor. Every Doctoral degree is associated with an academic title of "Dr." Once the insignia "Ph.D." appears with your name in books, thesis, and other presentations, the presenter is generally known to be a "Ph.D. holder." Naija's homily way of introducing himself or herself to the public is self-evident!
Don't you know me? "I am Chief, Dr., Mrs., Engr., Prof., and GO-General Overseer. "I am the mega Church with 300,000 human occupancies. I am the owner of the National Stadium, and I inherited the National Arts Theaters from my dad!" Glorify of the void is prevalent among these muse of bigmanism. The funny thing is that these title gratified souls are good at mesmerizing their various audiences with flaunting of wealth and nothingness.
Some Nigerians' pomposity and propensity for arrogance and accumulation of titles are very funnily concerning! "Naija no dey carry last." Naija homily of inscribing Prof., Dr., Alhaji., Pastor., Daddy GO., Mummy GO., and Lagbaja to our names in Naija is sometimes musing and unnecessary.
In spite of Naija naughtiness and pomposity, an average Naija is brilliantly ingenious and crafty. Also, an average thoughtful Nigerian is a magnificent representation of the (elusive?) progress of Nigeria.