FEATURE ARTICLE

Temple Chima UbochiSunday, August 6, 2017
ubochit@hotmail.de
Bonn, Germany

STRICTLY FOR MEN - IN A LIGHTER MOOD (A COMPILATION OF QUOTES)

imes are hard; everything seems to be going wrong for so many people. That makes it imperative for me to give my readers something to ease their minds. They say that "laughter is the best medicine". When we're in a tense or difficult situation; we need to suddenly burst into a fit of giggles to feel released or rejuvenated. According to Chopra, studies have found that laughter can have healing properties; and it's contagious.

The point here is:

Women defy color, culture and class! Women (other than a small few) are the same everywhere and always have been. Although, according to MarkyMark's blog, there may be more restrictions on their behavior in some places, but it's only a matter of time before that falls apart (even Muslim countries are feminist in a peculiar way since burkas and sexual harassment lawsuits are similar). On top of that, women have always been the same. There is plenty of proof of this:

"Tie yourself up with a woman, and like a chained convict, you lose all freedom . . . If you only know what women in general are! Egotism, vanity, silliness, triviality in everything. That's what women are when they show themselves as they really are…No, don't marry, my dear friend. Don't marry!"

- Leo Tolstoy, "War and Peace"

Leo Tolstoy lived in the 1800s before modern feminism in Russia. Yet, the problems he describes with women are the same that we have now. The only real difference is that women now have the weapon of government to use against men. This means that even if the weapon of government is taken away from women, it doesn't mean men are safe. It also means that finding a non-American or non-Western woman doesn't change much either.

This compilation might help to relieve stress and reduce tensions in most of our marriages, which are going down the hill, knowing that no matter whatever you're going through in your own, you're not alone:

And here we go:

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her - By Lee Majors

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together - By Al Gore

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher - By Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things and prevents us from achieving them - By Mike Tyson

The great question….which I have not been able to answer… is "What does a woman want?" - By George Clooney

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me - By Bill Clinton

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing! She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays" - By George Bush

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years - By Rudy Giuliani

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage - Michael Jordan

I've had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't. The third gave me more children - By Donald Trump

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:

  1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

  2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - By Shaquille O'Neal

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once…. - By Kobe Bryant

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to - By David Hasselhoff

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met - By Alec Baldwin

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong - By Barack Obama

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy - By Tommy Lee

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine" - By Brad Pitt

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel"! Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive" - By Jimmy Kimmel

Honey, what happened to "Ladies First"? Husband replies: "That's the reason why the world's a mess today, because a lady went first" - David Letterman

First there's the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring…soon after…comes suffeRing - By Jay Leno

The reason why wives live longer is because they don't have a wife - Brandon Breezy

A wife fond of coming home and starting right from the door to make trouble, persistently accusing her husband of things which are false, is most likely having an affair outside, as she's looking for things to justify her infidelity - By Bobby Womack

When a woman wants to run away from her home, only her eyes see a big snake somewhere in the house - Igbo Proverb

On another note:

A group of Nigerian husbands gathered at a conference on "How to live in a loving relationship with your wife".

The men were asked:

"How many of you love your wife"?

All the men raised their hands.

Then, they were asked:

"When was the last time you told your wife you loved her?"

Some men answered today; some yesterday; majority didn't remember.

The men were then told to take their cell phones and send the following text to their respective wives:

"I love you, sweetheart".

Then, the men were asked to exchange phones, so each of them can read the other wife's response to the love message...

Here are some of the replies from 10 of them:

  1. Have you impregnated someone again?

  2. That was then, not now.

  3. You wan borrow money abi?

  4. What did you do again? I won't forgive you this time!

  5. Meaning?

  6. Is that a new song?

  7. Am I dreaming!

  8. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, you will die today!

  9. You this man! I asked you to stop drinking!

  10. Abeg na who be this?

(LOL)

TIT BITS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDVemi5oS40

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2-yUQS70Kc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rp4UwPZfRis

THE THANX IS ALL YOURS!!!

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