FEATURE ARTICLE

Mike OnwukweWednesday, February 12, 2014
mikeonwukwe@gmail.com
South Sudan

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NIGERIAN CORRUPT PUBLIC OFFICIALS, OBESE WIVES AND SPOILT CHILDREN

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nitially, I didn't set out to look for spoilt brats, but I met few the other day. Now that I have found them, let's talk about them. Some of them have faces that only their mother can like; people who only respect big cars and their owners. These are people whose parents have stolen us blind having been entrusted with the management of public till but they have soiled their hands helping themselves. They constitute our nation's oafs. Remember to give them a safe distance whenever you see them, enough space not to breathe the contaminated air they spew.

They never spent a day under the sun; neither do they launder their clothes themselves. Everything is done by a hired hand including writing exams and lacing their shoes. They are everywhere in Nigeria - Public Officials managing dead and dying parastatals, bloated army generals and other fat cats in Police, Custom, Navy, traditional rulers who depend on government largesse, legislator who sleep all daylong and wake up feverishly by mid-day and scamper to National Assembly and agree on nothing except their pay packet. Their children have one common feature - they are heavily pampered and make public show of themselves. Simpletons, dunces, retarded kids and block heads. I don't blame a section of society for getting complacent and reticent on their views and life style. Sadly that is not about to change.

Nigeria is no longer able to provide them with basic comfort, so they shop in major malls abroad with their overweight wives and bloated children. They are the be-all and end-all. They think that the world would stop when they fart because we need them. They delight in invading individual safety zones when you meet them in a public place. They stole our lives and we demand that they return it. Maybe it will take a while but we will eventually get better.

All they do is to visit choice high end restaurants and drench themselves in the buffet and dish out order to the poor waitress. They gorge and binge on everything on sight like termites. As they binge, they shout incoherent diatribes as if they are alone in the building. Their obese mother is always on guard asking the waitress on what next to bring. You will probably think it is a wise move but you will soon realize that it is a pathetic sight. Very soon more tables are added to cater for the endless array of menu they order.

Evil people are upgrading every day. They take drugs and turn to Frankenstein Monster overnight. Their faulty points of view churn the stomach and induce nausea. They need control drugs to keep them high. Of course the money their fathers have stolen from the common weal is enough to maintain the habit. When there is scarcity of these drugs due to supply dynamics, they make-do with what is available: lizard and elephant dungs, codeine syrups, rubber solutions, gums and ketamine. These drugs give them mind bending effect. What else to do - they are getting value for their money (nwata n'ata akara). Under this influence, common explanation to them poses a nightmare. When they encounter a surmountable problem, instead of confronting it they cooperate with it. They do not raise any objective world view or complaint regarding anything. The only complaint they raise is the peanut-was-too-salty kind of complaint.

The only currency that counts for them is raw cash, big, exotic cars and edifices. Latest electronic gadgets and gizmos are their constant companion. They glue to these gadgets like tired boxers at the end of their bout. All their 5 senses are suspended and not receptive to anything except food and choice wines. They have failed the test of their life, no thanks to their father's stolen money. Sadly they think that life has a re-sit opportunity. That will never happen. They think it is possible to commit suicide on a tomato tree. Whatever they have, they need more, and that doesn't make them any less dangerous.

Anytime you make the mistake of visiting them in their houses, you will be buffeted by endless array of discarded empty bottles of choice wines testifying to the feast in their lair the previous day. What they lack in finesse, intelligence, native and common sense, they make up with plain malarkey and arrogance.

They have beheaded us to cure our headache. But don't worry too much for the path of the righteous keeps shinning and shinning. No matter how tall an Okro plant is, it will bend during harvesting time. When they gathering storm unleashes in form of Arab- Spring type of revolution, they will go on bended knees, shoulders bowed and slumped and ask for forgiveness but it will be too late because everybody will be at the receiving end.

Forget the outward disposition; they hate being alive if you stumble upon them, they are innately and inwardly sad. Like a book in the shelf, they left us long ago. Everything they know, they learnt on TV, FB and other social media. They let us define them - that money stolen by their father runs their life. We don't have that problem because we are not loaded. We are poorer than the land we stand on but we are happy. Whether we live or die is the same thing.

No one determines the tribe he or she comes from but you can determine your life style. These are folks who believe that they can tile the earth and roof the sky. They think they can cleanse the air or catch the rain. They think they can calm the ocean current and direct the wind.

It is not their fault if they were born rich; they were born like I and you but their fathers stole us blind. They get ample and quality education but can't put it to good use. They have no use for their lives. It is a story beyond belief. Wish them good luck when you see them because they certainly need a large dose of it.

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