t is time to banish Patricia Etteh, Speaker of the House of Representatives, from her perch. She has displayed a quality of arrogance and insensitivity to the national mood that is difficult to stomach from an occupant of her exalted position. In a season of national misery and disquiet, she has proved herself an insouciant fan of revelry, self-aggrandizement and squandermania.
Etteh, to hear her adulators say it, was supposed to
be different. When she was chosen to steer the House
of Representatives-and to be three heartbeats away
from assuming the presidency-she was projected as a
dark horse capable of meeting-even surpassing-national
expectations. Some of us had serious misgivings about
her qualifications, but we opted to give her the
benefit of the doubt. Part of the trouble lay-to state
it euphemistically-in her humble education and in her
antecedents as a hairdresser. With careful grooming,
guidance and astute effort, anybody could rise to the
challenges of lawmaking. But to jump from hairdresser
to speaker? That seemed a stretch. She may have been
at the top of the hairdressing game, but did she have
what it took to pilot the country's legislative
business?
Those who celebrated her ascendancy choose symbolism
and tokenism over substance. She was the first woman
in Nigeria's history ever to be chosen as speaker, and
that fact was the sum of it. Former President Olusegun
Obasanjo had, for reasons only he can reveal, anointed
her. Those who championed her improbable enthronement
as leader of the nation's most representative body
made a lot of hay out of her gender. She was sold as a
worthy representative of Nigerian womenfolk, an
embodiment of the capacity of women to alter the toxic
tone of politics set by men. An implicit expectation
was raised, that Etteh would bring feminine finesse
and nobility to the affairs of the legislative
chamber.
Perhaps those who marketed Mrs. Etteh did not really
know her, or perhaps she has, chameleon-like, changed
overnight. Whatever may be the case, this much is
clear: Nigeria's first Madam Speaker is exhibiting
every (male) vice in town. Her record so far has been
undistinguished and uninspiring.
Far from being a great advertisement for women, Etteh,
judging by recent revelations of her bizarre choices,
has cast herself in poor light. She is as thin in
legislative credentials as she is big in crassness.
Etteh's leadership of the lower chamber has been inept. She has gone out of her way on several occasions to stave off legitimate attempts to probe how her mentor, Obasanjo, disposed of certain national assets in the dying hours of his administration. She has otherwise not chalked up any impressive legislative agenda. If she has a menu of bills targeted at addressing the nation's myriad crises, she has done an excellent job of keeping it a secret. Her inability to push any legislative initiative with the potential of bettering the lot of Nigerians cannot possibly make her an icon of Nigerian women.
But if legislative ineptitude were Etteh's only
deficit, it might be readily forgiven her. But
ineptitude compounded with greed is a lethal combo in
any public official, man or woman.
Two weeks ago, Etteh flew out to the U.S. with a
complement of personal staff and numerous fellow
legislators in tow. Part of her plan-and her
entourage's-was to bask in a birthday bash to mark the
speaker's 54th anniversary. The location of the party
was swanky Bowie in the state of Maryland, right next
to Washington, DC, the seat of U.S. power. Had the
event taken place on the scale of its original
conception, it would have made a huge splash and left
many American observers with stories to tell for
years. In fact, it would have registered 9.7 on the
Ovation scale.
Sadly for the speaker, a nosy reporter blew the cover
on the party. Following the embarrassing press, the
speaker's office went into spin mode. Mrs. Ette, her
office said, was in the States for medical check-up,
not for the business of dancing the night away. Even
so, a party did hold, albeit scaled back. Most of the
junketing legislators who had come into town for the
occasion were too timid to show up at the venue.
Ensconced in their hotel rooms, they and the speaker
must have rued the media's newfound role as killjoys.
Etteh's American party exposed the speaker as one in kind with many Nigerian politicians. These politicians receive their paychecks and lucre from Nigeria, but their minds and souls are in North America, Britain, Europe or Dubai. They fleece Nigeria and feather their personal nests abroad. Neither Etteh nor her battery of aides could figure out that it stunk for the speaker to celebrate her birthday-the first, too, since her elevation-in America. What kind of laws or legislative leadership can be expected from a speaker with such errant moral compass and terrible political instincts?
As it happened, partying in America was far from the
speaker's greater flaws. According to her
critics-members of the house, no less-Etteh spent more
than 600 million naira to renovate her official
residence as well as that of her deputy, and to buy
plush cars for her own use. And this in a country
where 70 percent of the citizens exist in abject
conditions, where hordes of youngsters scavenge refuse
dumps and live off of fetid pickings, where millions
of graduates go jobless for years, where the
Sagamu-Ore-Benin expressway is impassable, where many
residents of Rivers State are caught in a dire choice
between dying from "militant" or military gunfire.
Given these harsh circumstances, Madam Etteh's
profligacy is worse than obscene. It is also depraved.
But wait, it gets more interesting. Under relentless
barrage for her thoughtless wastage of public funds,
Etteh found fit not to budge from her stolid silence.
A protégée of Obasanjo, she seemed to have mastered
the art of nonchalance in the face of public outrage
at her impunity. Inoculated-like Obasanjo-to public
rage, Etteh (as at the time of this writing) has not
personally spoken on the renovation scandal. No
contrition. No denial. Nada! Perhaps, like her
mentor-Nigeria's reigning mischief-maker-in-chief-she
doesn't bother to read local newspapers.
But her apologists have been speaking, and what they
have to say is simply moronic. Eziuche Ubani, chairman
of the committee on media and publicity, told the
press a few days ago that the award for the renovation
was far less than the N628 million touted by Etteh's
critics. The correct figure, he asserted, was only
N238 million. To hear Ubani make the case, it's as if
N238 million-roughly two million dollars-is peanuts!
Why should the renovation of any Nigerian public
official's residence gulp two million dollars? Ubani
posed the question, and gave a telling answer: "Now,
questions have been asked about why that money should
be spent on the house. The last time such major work
was done in the complex was in 2003. This time, the
job was extended to include rebuilding of the
perimeter fence, outside works, and furnishing of the
four houses in the complex."
Ubani's reasoning, in all charity, is unreasonable. Is
he unaware that N200 million naira can build many
comfortable homes for Nigerians? If it costs this much
to renovate two residences, then what did it cost to
build them? Why was it necessary to refurnish houses
that must have had furniture? If the previous speaker
and his deputy had illegally carted away furniture,
should Etteh not have asked the police to go after
them? Why must Nigerian officials-whose greed and
treachery pauperize the populace-wallow in opulent and
gaudy abodes even as a growing number of the nation's
urban dwellers are homeless, or squat in shacks?
Did Ubani expect to be taken seriously in pointing out
that the speaker's official quarters had not been
renovated since 2003? Who did he think he was kidding?
How many Nigerians, including the wealthy, renovate
their homes every four years? And of those who do, how
many would throw two hundred million naira into the
job? Even if the speaker were a billionaire, would she
have invested the royal sum of two hundred million
naira to refurbish her private home?
Ubani's effete attempt at justification merely exposed
elitist callousness. One of the speaker's defenders
even reminded Nigerians that Senate President David
Mark had poured in more than N400 million into the
renovation of his own residence. Mark's financial
recklessness does not make the speaker's excesses
right. It makes both Mark and Etteh wrong.
If it's true that Mark is spending such a shocking
amount on renovation, then he too deserves
rustication. No Nigerian public official should be
allowed to get away with prodigality on this
unconscionable scale. Nigerian roads are a mess.
Nigerian healthcare is scary. University and
polytechnic students live in squalid, subhuman
dormitories. Armed robbers are the lords of Nigerian
streets both in daylight and at night. As misery
worsens in Nigeria, why is it that already
over-pampered officials can think only of gorging ever
more on the trough?
Nigerians ought to demand a breakdown of all the
so-called renovation work on the official quarters,
along with accompanying cost estimates. Afterwards,
this misfit of a speaker should be asked to step down.
Or, better still, sacked.