|
| FEATURE ARTICLE |
| Rev. C. Kingston Ekeke | Friday June 16, 2006 |
 advertisement
|
 |
cfsnl@yahoo.com Atlanta, GA, USA 
|  ANNOUNCE THIS ARTICLE TO YOUR FRIENDS |
UNDERSTANDING THE TRUE PURPOSE OF FATHERS
A fulfilled father is not determined by the number of children he has and how successful they were, a father is fulfilled when he has sacrificed to nurture, instruct and raise his children in a way that brings honor and glory to the giver. The fulfilled father is the ultimate fulfillment of the original intent and purpose of God for fathers. - Rev. C. Kingston-Ekeke.
 |
n a few days, millions of dads will celebrate father's day which is sort of a popular celebration in the US and Canada. As usual, the commercial and business world is capitalizing on this special day event to make big sales. Millions of fathers will receive lovely and handsome gifts from their sons and daughters. My nine year old son who could not keep his mouth shout especially when it is a secret already told me what his older brother and their mom are planning to give me. I asked him, is it not supposed to be a secret? I let him know that I do not really want anything? The things I want right now in my life that they cannot afford it. He asked what is it. I told him that my ultimate desire is to get some super human or divine being to clean out Nigeria, in-fact all of Africa and start all over. If God is too compassionate to kill innocent neonates, then let Him put in every one of us a new heart (translated mind) like He gave prophet Jeremiah so that we can think and behave right. My son was quiet for a few seconds. Then he said, dad, I saved $50.00, my brother has $70.00 and I do not know how much mom has, is it enough to do that? I busted out laughing. He stood there for a while and promised that one day he will buy me a Cadillac. As for cleaning out Africa that is a big job that only a superhuman like super-man, wonder-woman or spider-man can do. I told him that he is right about that and I cannot wait to see supernatural revival and divine cleansing in a country of my birth.
Many dads will be having all kinds of conversations with their sons and daughters on this father's day. Many will also be planning to hang out with their children to have fun with them. In fact one father told me that he is taking his thirteen-year-old daughter on a date for dinner and dance. For me that is cool as well as strange. If I were the thirteen year old, I would put a nametag on him saying as boldly as possible that he is my dad, so that some young teenage boy can ask me for a dance. Again, as usual this father's day will be a day of gifts and fun. Many fathers will also try to use this time to advise their teenage children about making wise choices and encouraging them to be the best that they can be. However, many of these dads will not put into proper prospective the original intent and purpose for fathers.
|
advertisement
|
A Divine Gift
The word father may mean different things for different people. To some it may bring the picture of love, laughter, respect, power, authority etc. To others it may mean fear, rejection, disappointment and failure. God's Word clearly teaches that fatherhood is a divine gift (Genesis 1:27-28; 3:24-25; 4:1). It is an excellent and lovely gift from God. It is true that not every man or husband will be a father and not every husband who has children will be a good father. Many fathers have many children but have failed in the responsibility of fathering them. We have also seen or read about men and husbands who were unable to have children but have been exemplary fathers? Fatherhood is a great gift. It is a precious gift from God who considers godly family and rising of children to be the utmost priority in the world (Ephesians 5:22), He gave mankind this great gift in order to fulfill His kingdom agenda, which is to multiply, raise godly children and build strong families.
However today, this kingdom agenda is under serious attack. For instance the family is the first and most important institution that God gave to mankind after creation (Genesis 2:24) is under attacked. The family, which is supposed to be the foundation of society, is now at war with anti-family and feminist movement groups who want to redefine the institution of marriage and family by advocating sex-same marriages. In United States, Canada and many European countries, anti-family agenda is strong, active and fighting hard to destroy the most important institution that exist in the entire universe. The recent scandal of legalized prostitution and cheap sex in Germany during this 2006 world cup is also an indication of how the family is being impacted negatively by anti-family agenda.
The liberal agenda is also reaching Third World countries. Recently, we were all astonished when the Changing Attitude Nigeria (CAN), which is unfortunately, an Anglican gay movement, protested and were seeking for freedom to express openly. God forbid. They were also asking for sex marriage recognition like their counterparts here in the West. Thanks to Almighty God, Obasanjo's government stood firm against their request, which is an aberration and abomination before God. If nothing, God will reward him for his courageous leadership against this nonsense sex-marriage request by CAN. Imagine if they had succeeded to have their way and then allure the jobless youth into this unholy life style, managing the consequences of illegal sexual lifestyle such HIV, AIDS and other kinds of diseases and illnesses would have been monumental. This is a country where basic necessities of life lack in abundance not to mention of sound medical treatment. Medical and sex education are practically at zero. The rampancy of HIV and AIDS cases in Nigeria today is as a result of an uncontrollable ring of organized prostitution of young Nigerian girls brought to Italy and other European countries in the early 1980's. The heads of state then, General Babangida and others absolutely did nothing to stop them. Today, the society is reaping the severe consequences of such a sinful and greedy lifestyle.
Despite these challenges of social apathy, moral degradation and spiritual ignorance, the church of Jesus Christ has remained powerless and inactive while people perish everyday. In fact certain denominational religious leaders are powerless because they have been caught in the same very act. Who can forget the sex scandal involving catholic Bishops against children, the very ones that they supposed to be protecting and then the ordination of Gene Robinson, who was elevated to Bishop despite his marriage to his boyfriend. Yet the Anglican Communion has done nothing to punish him and exonerate the Communion from such a shameful, abominable and unrighteous living. Despite that some separatist groups have left the American Episcopal Church (ECUSA), yet many especially in Africa continue to mortgage their souls because of almighty dollar. Today, the Anglican Communion is confused and in disarray. Obviously, this cannot be part of the body of Christ that is called and empowered to boldly and fearlessly proclaim the gospel of the Kingdom to all the ends of the earth. Rather they are causing shame to the name of Christ.
Recently, a religious leader of a questionable denomination here in the US is on the run. He is wanted for polygamy and abuses against several of his church members. He is accused of being married to about twenty-two women and has nearly sixty-five children. In addition to that, the so-called prophet has the satanic power to remove the wives and children of his church members from homes that disobey or sin against him to other church members who are in his good books. Some members in his church have as many as twelve wives and father many children. The wives of those members who are not in his good books are removed against the will of the husband and placed into another home that is loyal to the prophet. This includes their children as well. This is absolutely crazy. I could not believe that these kinds of things can happen in a civilized country like the United States. This is a nation that abolished polygamy in 1800's and punishes anyone caught in the act with a heavy prison and jail sentence. Yet, many including religious leaders have multiple wives and fathers many children not born by them. Here we are not even talking about the secular society where all kinds of idolatry and abomination run rampant in the home. This is a clear indication that sin and disobedience will continue to cause immoral behavior and tragic consequences upon mankind despite economic progress, scientific knowledge and technological advancement.
Why is the family under attack and continuously being assaulted by these propagandistic movements? What are some of the causes of this satanic assault against the family? Why is the family, God's most important institution for a moral and civil society is ravaged by sin, violence, idolatry and sexual immorality? As I ponder over the horrendous condition of the family and marriage institution today, it dawned on me that lack of strong, courageous and authentic fathers is the major cause of it. As our society erodes into social and moral degradation, honest, wise and godly fathers are hard to find. When God created Adam and later gave him Eve as wife and companion, He consecrated them as a family, blessed them and empowered them to multiply. They were to bring glory to God by fulfilling the divine purpose for their creation. But they sinned and the consequences of that sin on humanity are still felt today.
For instance today, we see that fathers have abdicated their place as the spiritual head and leader of the home. There is no doubt that while mothers have leadership influence over their children, fathers are called to exercise leadership authority in the home. In-addition, fathers have ceased to be the spiritual leader in the home. Many fathers have unbelief and unwavering faith in God who gave man the gift of fatherhood and divinely appointed him to be the priest of his home. Husbands are also treating their wives as possessions rather than persons to love, serve, protect and provide for their needs. We have neglected and taken our wives and children for granted in order to pursue material wealth, political powers and cultural relevance. Fathers as well as mothers wrestle against sinful tendencies and selfish desires. A lot of fathers nowadays compete with their wives in leading the home and making money and as a result many marriages end in divorce. These kinds of cases are becoming rampant among African families here in USA even though it is not our culture and pattern of life.
Many fathers also abuse, molest and abandon their children. Some allow their children to be undisciplined and disrespectful. I will never forget a visit to my home one evening. A family friend visited with her 6 year old grandson. The child ran wild in my house. He tore the house upside down. He dipped his hands into all the dishes that were presented for dinner. He wanted chips, cookies and soda. In fact he tasted all the various soft drinks in the house and wasted half of them on the floor. He was absolutely irritable. The grandmother could not control him. One can easily notice the compassionate pleading and begging for this spoilt brat to stop his craziness. When I could no longer take his silliness I try to caution him. He calmed down a bit and started all over again. Later, I learned that his father left the mother at the time he was born. So, he is just a spoilt child who has never had fatherly influence and authority. Imagine how this child growing up this way can survive in a hostile society like ours. He will be vulnerable to all kinds of peer-pressure, gang activity, violence, drugs and what have you. This is because many fathers left home without making any effort and sacrifice to raise their children. As a result their children are exposed to all kinds of negative societal influence.
Build Fortify Family
The first and probably the most important purpose for fathers is to build strong and fortified families. In the beginning God created Adam and later made Eve. Adam and Eve were charged to be fruitful, increase in number and rule over the earth and animal kingdom (Genesis 1:27-28). They were given the gift to procreate other human beings. Adam and Eve were then united physically and spiritually as one flesh in marriage (Genesis 2:24). God's design for the family involved man and woman, not man and man or woman and woman. In so doing, God ordained the family unit as the first and most important institution on earth. However, in every family, there must be a head or leader. And God in His sovereign wisdom delegated the husband the responsibility to be the head of the wife and the leadership authority of his family. It was a divine order and the husband was then called to be the lover of his wife and the leader of his home while the wife was charged to submit to her husband (Ephesians 5:22-24; Colossians 3:18-19). The wife was never asked to be the lover. Today, our society has it backwards and the husband has easily succumbed to the myth that he has to be loved by his wife.
Let me also point here that the wife's submission to her husband was never meant to a domineering and dictatorial attitude of some husbands that we see today especially in African societies. Your wife should not be subjugated but rather the proper attitude should be to provide, protect and nurture her. As the lover and leader of your wife you should provide for her essential needs by loving, serving, protecting and providing for her needs and the needs of your children. The father's delegated leadership authority is not to be a domineering kind of leadership, but of love, sacrifice and service to the needs of your wife and children. The Bible clearly teaches that both man and woman are fellow-heir of the grace of life, a spiritual equal before God (First Peter 3:7). The headship submission relationship is not about superiority of the man or inferiority of the woman. Frankly, I have met many women who are wiser, more knowledgeable, more articulate, and more discerning than their husbands. Yet God ordained the family so that the man is the head of the home. The reason for this divine order is because the wife is the weaker vessel. She is physically unequal with most men but not spiritually inferior. The husband therefore should protect and provide for her, which is not a privilege but rather a responsibility. At the heart of husband's headship is the willingness to sacrifice his own privileges in-order to provide and protect his family. The husband is therefore delegated as the head of the home to serve in a priestly role, and a vital part of his priestly task is to help guard his wife's and children's purity.
Therefore as a lover and leader of the home, fathers are to provide for the spiritual and domestic need of his family. He is to love, protect and show interest in the welfare of his family in the same way that Christ loved the church. He is to honor, understand, and appreciate the thoughtfulness of his spouse and children and demonstrate absolute faithfulness to his family. Because of the great mystery and sacredness of marriage and family, husbands should delight to love, provide, protect, and care for their wives. And this sacred union is the foundation from which fathers nourish and encourage their children toward maturity. Harmony and happiness in marriage should be the focus of any family, which is the bedrock and moral fiber of any society. Fathers are called and charged to build strong and fortified families. Strong and fortified families provide the foundation for moral, safe and strong societies.
Raising Godly Children
Another key responsibility of fathers is to raise their offspring and nurture them in the admonition of the Lord. This was a very crucial responsibility in Old Testament times. The Bible clearly teaches that children are a special gift and heritage from God (Hebrews 2:13; Genesis 4:1). Fathers are called not only to love and lead their wives but also to love their children without partiality and to raise them with care, compassion, courage and common sense (1 Timothy 5:14; 2 Timothy 1:5; 3:14-15; Titus 2:4). The father is under divine obligation to instruct and teach his children the Word of God with humility, patience, perseverance and prayer. The father must train his children in godly character and practical life skills according to Deuteronomy 6:7; Proverbs1: 8-9; Colossians 3:20 and Titus 5:10. The father should also discipline his children and do not exasperate them, but instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord (Proverbs 13:24; 22:6; Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21). The father is responsible to give his children the upbringing that prepares them for a life that is pleasing to God. It is the father not the mother or church or government that has the primarily responsibility for the biblical and spiritual instruction and training of his children. The church and school can only assist but it not their primary duty to bring up your children. It is the main duty of the father.
Today's fathers should stop compromising with the world in raising their children. The original purpose for fathers was to lead and influence their children to make choices that are pleasing to God. Just like Noah. Even though he was not a perfect man. He was a drunkard yet he was an exemplary father. He lived during the time of great immorality and wickedness on planet earth. He and his family were criticized, and enticed to forget God and join their sinful ways. But Noah and his family refused to compromise with the world system. He influenced his wife and children to trust God. As a dad, what influence do you have upon your children when it comes to making choices between good and evil, between godly ways and evil ways? As a father you should have leadership influence and authority over your children. God wants you to exert godly influence upon your children no matter the ungodly environment in which you and your family may find yourselves. God is watching, observing and seeking to bless your family as He blessed Noah. The ways we live our lives as fathers have tremendous impact and influence upon our children and society at large.
As a father, I challenge and encourage you to do your own part of training your children adequately so that we can have a safe and peaceful world. God is our model of fatherhood. Let's turn to Him and learn from Him. It is our solemn obligation as fathers to raise our children in a godly manner. Let us make that effort and if necessary sacrifice to show good examples of caring for the lives and precious gift from God more than our jobs, careers, hobbies and social status. The Greek Philosopher, Socrates once said, "Could I climb the highest place in Athens, I would lift my voice and proclaim: fellow citizens, why do you turn and scrap every stone to gather wealth, and take so little care of your children, to whom one day you must relinquish it all. God clearly considers godly family and rising of children as the utmost priority in the world (Ephesians 5:22). Our fulfillment as fathers can only be achieved when we love and lead our wives honorably, and raise our children with care, courage and compassion. God will be pleased with us and we will fulfill our divine obligations and purpose as God intended it to be.
Happy Father's Day to all of you who are fathers, grand fathers, great-grand fathers and aspiring fathers.
Rev. Kingston-Ekeke is the founder and Spiritual leader of Kingdom Leadership Center and Center for Supernatural Leadership, Inc. in Atlanta, Georgia.