arch 22nd 2009, has been designated as Black Marriage Day. I don't know the origin of this day, but I've been told it might have originated from the Black Family Day started by Minister A. Mohammed, a Nation of Islam clergy, who like a lot of people perhaps got tired of the statistics about the black family and marriage. Regardless of the origin, it is a great concept that I personally welcome with wide open hands.

Newly weds

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I have download as many statistics as I can get on the black family or black marriage, many from researches conducted by various foundations interested in the institution of Marriage, such as the Institute of American Values and the Marriage Project at Rutgers University. The statistics about the black marriage is no secret, in-fact it is a butt of jokes for black comedians (white comedians wont touch it), about how many sisters are in college and the number of brothers in jail. The statistics of how three generations of the black family are now headed by the black woman, who unfortunately is becoming a rare breed today, as more "big mamas" are now in their 30s and are on crack as well (I got this one from my barber).

Here are some Statistics:

Between 1950 and 1996, the percentage of Black Families headed by married couples declined from 78% to 34%. Between 1940 and 1990, the percentage of Black children living with both parents dropped from 75.8% to 33.2% and the household headed by a female is now 68% of the African-American community.

Source: Center for Marriage and Family

________

Factor				   Rate of divorce decline

Annual Income of $50,000 (vs. $25,000)	-30%
Having a baby 7 months "after marriage"		-24%
Marrying over 25 years (vs. below 18 years)	-24%
Own family intact (vs. divorced parents)		-14%
Religious affiliation (vs. none)			-14%
Some college (vs. high school drop-out)		-13%

Source: State of our Union 2007 (The Marriage Project), Rutgers University, NJ

________

Children who live with their own two married parents enjoy better physical health, on average, than children in other family forms. Married men earn between 10 and 40 percent more than single men with similar education and job histories.

Married people, especially married men, have longer life expectancies than otherwise similar singles.

Marriage increases the likelihood fathers will have good relationships with children. 65% of young adults whose parents divorced had poor relationships with their fathers (compared to 29% from non-divorced families).

Divorce and unmarried childbearing significantly increases poverty rates of both mothers and children. Between one-fifth and one-third of divorcing women end up in poverty as a result of divorce.

Married women appear to have a lower risk of domestic violence than cohabiting or dating women. Even after controlling for race, age, and education, people who live together are still three times more likely to report violent arguments than married people.

Marriage appears to reduce the risk that children and adults will be either perpetrators or victims of crime. Single and divorced women are four to five times more likely to be victims of violent crime in any given year than married women.

Boys raised in single-parent homes are about twice as likely (and boys raised in stepfamilies three times as likely) to have committed a crime that leads to incarceration by the time they reach their early thirties, even after controlling for factors such as race, mother's education, neighborhood quality and cognitive ability.

Source: Why Marriage Matters - 26 family scholars report (Institute of American Values)

_________

A little more than two years ago, some black leaders (community activists, clergies, business leaders, elected and appointed officials etc) came together in my city, with a view of transforming our community. That effort is now called Empower Omaha or African-American Empowerment Network (www.empoweromaha.org). We developed 13 covenant areas that we believe would transform our community with the vision of "Rebuilding the Village". I am privileged to serve with others as a co-chair of the Healthy Family Covenant of the network.

As we collated statistics and researches, did community forums and went on the streets, it became clear that some of what we've heard is not far from the truth and in some cases even worse. I met a 23year old lady (when I spoke at her church) with three children who (up to that time) has never attended a wedding ceremony but can't remember how many funerals she has attended, she is the third generation of having children without marriage and relying on government for everything from housing to food stamps to day care. Today she is married (struggling but doing okay).

After looking through many statistics, participating/speaking at public forums and having the privilege of meeting with appointed and elected officials, I came to my conclusion that though politicians know the truth about what is plaguing the black family (break down of marriage), they do not have the gut to do what would restore the institution of marriage in the black community. It is often politically expedient to throw money at the symptoms such as the welfare system, poor single women, gang violence etc, rather than support a pre-marriage education bill that would help grow a healthy marriage or a marriage enrichment class by a faith based organization in the name of separation of church and state, because the gay community and other liberal organizations would intimidate them (just think Prop 8 in California).

Please see below the benefit of a "healthy marriage" in any community

For Children and Youth

1. More likely to attend college
2. More likely to succeed academically
3. Physically healthier
4. Emotionally healthier
5. Less likely to attempt or commit suicide
6. Demonstrate less behavioral problems in school
7. Less likely to be a victim of physical or sexual abuse
8. Less likely to abuse drugs or alcohol
9. Less likely to commit delinquent behaviors
10. Have a better relationship with their mothers and fathers
11. Decreases their chances of divorcing when they get married
12. Less likely to become pregnant as a teenager, or impregnate someone.
13. Less likely to be sexually active as teenagers
14. Less likely to contract STD's
15. Less likely to be raised in poverty

For Women

1. More satisfying relationship
2. Emotionally healthier
3. Wealthier
4. Less likely to be victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, or

Other violent crimes

1. Less likely to attempt or commit suicide
2. Decrease risk of drug and alcohol abuse
3. Less likely to contract STD's
4. Less likely to remain or end up in poverty
5. Have better relationships with their children
6. Physically healthier

For Men

1. Live longer
2. Physically healthier
3. Wealthier
4. Increase in the stability of employment
5. Higher wages
6. Emotionally healthier
7. Decrease risk of drug and alcohol abuse
8. Have better relationships with their children
9. More satisfying sexual relationship
10. Less likely to commit violent crimes
11. Less likely to contract STD's
12. Less likely to attempt or commit suicide

For Communities

1. Higher rates of physically healthy citizens
2. Higher rates of emotionally healthy citizens
3. Higher rates of educated citizens
4. Lower domestic violence rates
5. Lower crime statistics
6. Lower teen age pregnancy rates
7. Lower rates of juvenile delinquency
8. Higher rates of home ownership
9. Lower rates of migration
10. Higher property values
11. Decreased need for social services

Source: Why Marriage Matters, Second Edition: Twenty-Six Conclusions from the Social Sciences, September 2005.

With such an overwhelming benefit to everyone (one report singled out a black man as the most beneficiary of marriage) in a healthy marriage, there are only a few states that care about marriage (defined as man and woman) and only Oklahoma state have cutting edge laws (they have a commission that monitors marriage in their state) and have seen divorce reduce by 7% this past year (2008), while it is risen or stagnated in other states.

This (2009) black marriage day, we cannot wait for politicians in our communities, they know the truth but implementing it is political suicide. Everyone of us, especially in the faith community all across black America (Urban and/or rural areas) with no hidden agenda, other than restoring the black marriage, must stand up NOW and do the right thing. In Omaha, African-American Empowerment Network, Healthy Family team, has initiated various programs to restore the black family and marriage. These are programs that can be employed all over urban America and indeed the world. Here are some of our initiatives:

Marriage is Cool:

Purpose:
To demonstrate that the institution of marriage is still a cool thing for our communities (especially African-American students) and showcase successful couples as examples to middle/high school students that have not been exposed to a marriage nor its benefits and for them to have something to aspire to.

To demonstrate that African-American women can be successful academically and also have a great marriage, and demonstrate to young black men that education and marriage is beneficial to them as well (statistically and in other ways).

Strategy:
Present successfully married and educated couples (African-American) to selected students in various High schools. To demonstrate that marriage can be fun and successful in minority communities. Students that would attend the sessions would be selected by the principal and teachers. Each couple would have the opportunity to say something about themselves emphasizing year of marriage and education, and the students would ask the couples (a panel of 2 or 4 couples) questions. Each session would last 45 minutes (a class period).

Grandfriends for Grassroots Change:

Vision
To bring back the village concept in our community To utilize the expertise of seasoned grand-friends in our community To transform our community one family and marriage at a time

Mission
Seasoned men and women befriending, mentoring and teaching younger African-Americans specifically in the age bracket 19 - 30 years (single or married), using recognized parenting and other educational curriculum.

http://www.grandfriendsmentoring.com

Wall of Fame:

We are encouraging print media in our city, to print pictures of African-American couples who have been married for more than 20 years with a little note of what has made the relationship succeed. We are also encouraging churches to recognize couples married over 20 years, on Sunday March 22nd, in their churches as well.

Until the marriage institution is restored in the black community (to 1950s numbers and better), the family breakdown and accompanying symptoms will continue. We are the ones that would stand-up and effect change starting in our own home, then influencing our next door neighbor and then the community.

Remain Blessed

William Femi Awodele is the Executive Director of Christian Couples Fellowship International, Inc. Omaha Nebraska and a board member of Nebraska Family Council, Lincoln, Nebraska.