FEMI AWODELE'S HOUSE CALL

Femi AwodeleFriday, January 11, 2008
christiancouples.org
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AFRICAN CHRISTIAN SINGLES CONFERENCE, ATLANTA, GA - MARCH 20TH - 22ND, 2008

bout three years ago, I went to Los Angeles, CA for a family conference, and as part of the weekend, the single adults had a formal night, that event went beyond the normal scheduled time and a couple of the single adults paid the hotel out of pocket because they thought the conversation was important enough for us to stay longer. The same scenario is repeated in different form (church or national conference) as I travel and speak to single adults across the country from Pittsburg PA to St. Louis MO, to Phoenix AZ, to Atlanta GA, to New York NY and another memorable experience was last year in Cambridge MA.


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As I speak and develop relationship with many of these African Single Adults, I found they have a couple of things in common

  • They are very educated (Almost all African single adult I have met have a college degree, many with post-graduate/professional degrees and another handful with PhDs - especially in my Cambridge MA trip).
  • Their first choice of a partner (husband or wife) is another African (contrary to the fear of many African parents, I found these young people themselves want another African as their first choice)
  • They are financially comfortable (obviously with education, especially post-graduate education comes some level of financial stability especially without responsibilities like children)
  • They don't want their parents arranging "hook ups" for them (I think that is just natural, you know - "I'm now an adult and I can make my own decision thing")

I have spoken with many of my friends who are better at organizing about my findings as I speak with these young adults, hoping someone would do something with my concern for these group, but no one seem to want it. In early 2007, I finally decided its time I put this together my self or in collaboration with someone but me still pushing, I did find a planner who was willing and also wanted it expanded to African-Americans, because of the perception that the targeted people might not respond as well. I however wanted to stay within the vision and take that risk; I have found that when God gives a vision, you don't dilute it for whatever reason.

The four reasons above and a single's adult conference of a denomination in Atlanta GA last year finally pushed me to get going with planning the conference, now it is here and I pray that God is honored through the conference.

Why an African Christian Singles Conference?

I got a call from a lady who visited our website and wanted to know if I would guarantee her a husband at the conference, I really tried not to laugh because it would be rude, but I replied her saying, "I really hope she does not get a husband in two days, rather that she meets enough people that are potential husbands".

The reason for this conference is in many folds and it is basically to meet the four needs of the African Christian Singles in the Diaspora. Many denominations have their own youth/singles conference and I have been privileged to speak at some, what I have found as well as in local churches is that, because the singles are familiar with each other, they don't often see each other as potential partners, it is often the parents scheming which often makes matters worse.

The choices of a partner is also often limited in a local church, except when churches within a certain geographical area come together for joint single adult events, which is rare because pastors want to protect their territories (we've attempted that twice in my city across denomination and each time it fizzled, now at least we know each other and have some level of communication).

When God told Moses to go back to Egypt after 40 years in Midian to save the Israelites from captivity, one of his complaints was "what if they don't believe me" and God ask him, what is in your hand and he replied "a staff", God then turned that staff into an instrument for His glory. God has opened doors for me among African denominations in the Diaspora (Nigeria, Liberia, Ghana, Togo etc) and my vision is to use that open door to benefit the community and to bring glory and honor to God. The Bible is also clear about people being unequally yoked, and that is why we are emphasizing that it is a conference for Christians who are Africans in the Diaspora.

My personal goal, is to create an environment that is classy (not a bush-meat market - graduate of any Nigerian university would understand that terminology) and safe for meeting other people. Within that environment, the undiluted word of God is shared by men and woman of God with a heart for righteousness. The concept of not being unequally yoked would be a theme throughout the conference, and recognizing a Christian (not just a church attendee) would also be shared.

Speakers

I have known Dr. Okey Onuzo since 1989, and he is no stranger to many Nigerian based churches in the Diaspora. During my youth service in Lagos, Nigeria in 1989, my big brother and I were invited to FGBMFI Ikeja chapter, and we soon became addicted with the teachings of Dr. Onuzo every Thursday evening, and those teachings helped shaped who we are today, I remember vividly his teaching through the book of Corinthians. We both became active members of the chapter, he in counseling (he joined Foursquare Church, Yaba, now pastor an RCCG parish in Lagos part-time) and me, the prison and prayer ministries, thanks to Dr. Onuzo's teaching.

Few people have had impact on my life in my spiritual walk, first my Mom, and then four men at different times in that journey, Dr. Onuzo helped lay a solid foundation for me as a young believer, Dr. Bunmi Dada helped me see things through sound doctrine and in-depth study of the Bible (Greek and Hebrew), Dr. Ken Dick took my knowledge of the Bible to another level and Pastor David Ravenhill changed my perspective on spiritual warfare. All but one of them are scientists, thanks guys not only for the teaching, but for your life that demonstrate what you teach. If Dr. Onuzo alone is speaking at this conference it should be packed.

Tara Rye's family and my family met because our kids were in the same class in a Christian school for many years. Her husband and I were also volunteer soccer coaches, most of the time I assist Greg. We soon got to know each other personally and I was amazed at the talent God has deposited in Tara. I listened to just one of her CDs and started to encourage her to share what God has given to her publicly (not just a local church).

Today, she writes columns for magazines, many of you women would perhaps have read some of her articles in "cup of comfort" a daily devotion for women or other women's magazine. She has a radio program in Omaha, but I'm most proud of the depth (insight) of her curriculums, which are aimed at cultivating the hearts of men and women back to God.

For more information about the speakers visit our website www.christiancouples.org

Why Atlanta, why March and why 20-45years?

Atlanta GA is central with an airport hub that connects with most major cities within the country and even outside the country. Africans choose their abode carefully while abroad primarily because of weather and population, and Atlanta fits that bill perfectly.

The date was actually chosen because of spring break, since our targeted audience include junior and senior college age people, we thought it was best to have it when they would have time away from school. March is also when winter is on its way out (hopefully out of Atlanta) and there are not too many flight issues especially for a Thursday flight in and Saturday returning. Thursday and Saturday were also chosen so that single adults that are active in their churches could travel back and still participate on Sunday in the choir or any other ministry.

I really struggled with the age group that could attend the conference knowing in my experience that young adults (20-30 years) don't usually want to inter-act with single adults (31-45 years) because of generational issues, but it came down to the vision, which is to create a safe environment for meeting (not forcing anyone to marry), and it is a plus that I know a lot of folks in the single adults age group that I'm praying and trusting God for.

Obstacles to success

When planning anything, I always want to know what obstacles I will face so I can adequately plan and also know what threshold to set for my self (emotionally). As I share this vision and the event with people, everyone agreed it is a good idea and it's about time but they also shared some reservations?

•         Resources for marketing - a national program like this would usually require a major budget for marketing in newspapers and other media outlet, but such funds are not available.

Solution: Word of mouth - each one tells one. If you believe it is a good program then get your friends together and plan to come.

•         Last minute registration - this is a recognized area we need to improve in our community, coming late or waiting for the last minute. If that is you, then you need to repent and do things on-time.

Solution: Change/revival always come with the individual changing and then it affects the whole, if you believe this program would benefit you, then go-ahead and register instead of waiting, except funding is a problem.

•         Support - having been blessed to work with many denominations, I know many in leadership (pastoral or otherwise) are skeptical about the motives of an independent program, concerned about their flock going somewhere else and for other reasons.

Solution: Please note that I have no agenda, other than to bring African Christian Singles together, first - that they are equally yoked regardless of the denomination, secondly - to provide a godly atmosphere and great teaching for them to meet.

•         Parents Involvement - In a parent's zeal to want the best for a child they might actually alienate that child by being too forceful. I shared this with a parent this holiday with three kids in the "time to get married" age group, and I counseled that they introduce the program carefully, and not as another tactic to get that child married.

Solution: I want you parents on my side for this conference so I would suggest couple of things. First, don't be forceful telling your single adult child about the conference, suggest it and offer to pay the registration or support that child in one way or another, let that child make the final decision to go or not go for the conference. Secondly, convince your child's friend and let him or her convince your child.

•         Finance - there are many African Christian Singles who would like to be part of this event but have no funding (registration, hotel etc), and this is a genuine concern.

Solution: If you are a business person who have the same burden for young people in your church or community, this is your opportunity to be a blessing - ask the singles leader or the single adult directly, if you can be a blessing to them by sponsoring that person. I already know someone doing that for a friend.

The program

It is designed as a two day event but the second night would run way into the night, hence the three day tag.

Thursday, March 20th

Apart from registration and booking into hotel rooms, the event itself starts later with everyone being together. I will cast the vision and Dr. Okey Onuzo will speak on the importance of being equally yoked as a good foundation.

After the last speaker, participants will have at least three hours to get to know each other by playing board games which would be available on each table. Hopefully, everyone can find a board game they like.

Friday, March 21st

The day would start early and we'll have two sessions, of each speaker speaking at separate bays, and participants will have the opportunity to choose two of the three topics they'll like to listen to. After a lunch break, the group would reconvene, and everyone would come back together for two hours of question and answer, the three speakers would be the panelist and participants would ask the questions with moderators.

The night would be rounded up with a formal dinner (already covered in the registration cost), men in white tie and women in decent gowns. Meeting in an informal and formal setting in my opinion is important; a funny side to this argument is that many female single want to know if the guy is still taller when they have their favorite high-heeled shoe on.

Cost

Registration is $150 (includes formal dinner and event materials only). You can either register on our website (with paypal), or do it by mail to our post office box address.

Hotel is $99 discounted (I'm sure two or more people can share a room - please confirm with the hotel). I visited the hotel in December and it is a four star hotel.

All the speakers are published authors with international speaking experience and we'll have tables for each speaker. Dr. Onuzo and I have published books on the subject of setting the right foundation for marriage, while Tara along with her husband has taught a marriage class for newly wed for years.

I trust that between when you read this article and February 23rd 2008 that we'll have more than 400 participants registered. Visit www.christiancouples.org for more details.

Remain Blessed and see you in Atlanta.

William Femi Awodele is Executive Director, Christian Couples Fellowship International, Inc., Omaha, Nebraska

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