bout three years ago, I went to Los Angeles, CA for a family conference, and as part of the weekend, the single adults had a formal night, that event went beyond the normal scheduled time and a couple of the single adults paid the hotel out of pocket because they thought the conversation was important enough for us to stay longer. The same scenario is repeated in different form (church or national conference) as I travel and speak to single adults across the country from Pittsburg PA to St. Louis MO, to Phoenix AZ, to Atlanta GA, to New York NY and another memorable experience was last year in Cambridge MA.
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As I speak and develop relationship with many of these African Single
Adults, I found they have a couple of things in common
- They are very educated (Almost all African single adult I have met have
a college degree, many with post-graduate/professional degrees and another
handful with PhDs - especially in my Cambridge MA trip).
- Their first choice of a partner (husband or wife) is another African
(contrary to the fear of many African parents, I found these young people
themselves want another African as their first choice)
- They are financially comfortable (obviously with education, especially
post-graduate education comes some level of financial stability especially
without responsibilities like children)
- They don't want their parents arranging "hook ups" for them (I think
that is just natural, you know - "I'm now an adult and I can make my own
decision thing")
I have spoken with many of my friends who are better at organizing about
my findings as I speak with these young adults, hoping someone would do
something with my concern for these group, but no one seem to want it. In
early 2007, I finally decided its time I put this together my self or in
collaboration with someone but me still pushing, I did find a planner who
was willing and also wanted it expanded to African-Americans, because of
the perception that the targeted people might not respond as well. I
however wanted to stay within the vision and take that risk; I have found
that when God gives a vision, you don't dilute it for whatever reason.
The four reasons above and a single's adult conference of a denomination
in Atlanta GA last year finally pushed me to get going with planning the
conference, now it is here and I pray that God is honored through the
conference.
Why an African Christian Singles Conference?
I got a call from a lady who visited our website and wanted to know if I
would guarantee her a husband at the conference, I really tried not to
laugh because it would be rude, but I replied her saying, "I really hope
she does not get a husband in two days, rather that she meets enough
people that are potential husbands".
The reason for this conference is in many folds and it is basically to
meet the four needs of the African Christian Singles in the Diaspora. Many
denominations have their own youth/singles conference and I have been
privileged to speak at some, what I have found as well as in local
churches is that, because the singles are familiar with each other, they
don't often see each other as potential partners, it is often the parents
scheming which often makes matters worse.
The choices of a partner is also often limited in a local church, except
when churches within a certain geographical area come together for joint
single adult events, which is rare because pastors want to protect their
territories (we've attempted that twice in my city across denomination and
each time it fizzled, now at least we know each other and have some level
of communication).
When God told Moses to go back to Egypt after 40 years in Midian to save
the Israelites from captivity, one of his complaints was "what if they
don't believe me" and God ask him, what is in your hand and he replied "a
staff", God then turned that staff into an instrument for His glory. God
has opened doors for me among African denominations in the Diaspora
(Nigeria, Liberia, Ghana, Togo etc) and my vision is to use that open door
to benefit the community and to bring glory and honor to God. The Bible is
also clear about people being unequally yoked, and that is why we are
emphasizing that it is a conference for Christians who are Africans in the
Diaspora.
My personal goal, is to create an environment that is classy (not a
bush-meat market - graduate of any Nigerian university would understand
that terminology) and safe for meeting other people. Within that
environment, the undiluted word of God is shared by men and woman of God
with a heart for righteousness. The concept of not being unequally yoked
would be a theme throughout the conference, and recognizing a Christian
(not just a church attendee) would also be shared.
Speakers
I have known Dr. Okey Onuzo since 1989, and he is no stranger to many
Nigerian based churches in the Diaspora. During my youth service in Lagos,
Nigeria in 1989, my big brother and I were invited to FGBMFI Ikeja
chapter, and we soon became addicted with the teachings of Dr. Onuzo every
Thursday evening, and those teachings helped shaped who we are today, I
remember vividly his teaching through the book of Corinthians. We both
became active members of the chapter, he in counseling (he joined
Foursquare Church, Yaba, now pastor an RCCG parish in Lagos part-time) and
me, the prison and prayer ministries, thanks to Dr. Onuzo's teaching.
Few people have had impact on my life in my spiritual walk, first my Mom,
and then four men at different times in that journey, Dr. Onuzo helped lay
a solid foundation for me as a young believer, Dr. Bunmi Dada helped me
see things through sound doctrine and in-depth study of the Bible (Greek
and Hebrew), Dr. Ken Dick took my knowledge of the Bible to another level
and Pastor David Ravenhill changed my perspective on spiritual warfare.
All but one of them are scientists, thanks guys not only for the teaching,
but for your life that demonstrate what you teach. If Dr. Onuzo alone is
speaking at this conference it should be packed.
Tara Rye's family and my family met because our kids were in the same
class in a Christian school for many years. Her husband and I were also
volunteer soccer coaches, most of the time I assist Greg. We soon got to
know each other personally and I was amazed at the talent God has
deposited in Tara. I listened to just one of her CDs and started to
encourage her to share what God has given to her publicly (not just a
local church).
Today, she writes columns for magazines, many of you women would perhaps
have read some of her articles in "cup of comfort" a daily devotion for
women or other women's magazine. She has a radio program in Omaha, but I'm
most proud of the depth (insight) of her curriculums, which are aimed at
cultivating the hearts of men and women back to God.
For more information about the speakers visit our website
www.christiancouples.org
Why Atlanta, why March and why 20-45years?
Atlanta GA is central with an airport hub that connects with most major
cities within the country and even outside the country. Africans choose
their abode carefully while abroad primarily because of weather and
population, and Atlanta fits that bill perfectly.
The date was actually chosen because of spring break, since our targeted
audience include junior and senior college age people, we thought it was
best to have it when they would have time away from school. March is also
when winter is on its way out (hopefully out of Atlanta) and there are not
too many flight issues especially for a Thursday flight in and Saturday
returning. Thursday and Saturday were also chosen so that single adults
that are active in their churches could travel back and still participate
on Sunday in the choir or any other ministry.
I really struggled with the age group that could attend the conference
knowing in my experience that young adults (20-30 years) don't usually
want to inter-act with single adults (31-45 years) because of generational
issues, but it came down to the vision, which is to create a safe
environment for meeting (not forcing anyone to marry), and it is a plus
that I know a lot of folks in the single adults age group that I'm praying
and trusting God for.
Obstacles to success
When planning anything, I always want to know what obstacles I will face
so I can adequately plan and also know what threshold to set for my self
(emotionally). As I share this vision and the event with people, everyone
agreed it is a good idea and it's about time but they also shared some
reservations?
• Resources for marketing - a national program like this would usually
require a major budget for marketing in newspapers and other media outlet,
but such funds are not available.
Solution: Word of mouth - each one tells one. If you believe it is a good
program then get your friends together and plan to come.
• Last minute registration - this is a recognized area we need to improve
in our community, coming late or waiting for the last minute. If that is
you, then you need to repent and do things on-time.
Solution: Change/revival always come with the individual changing and then
it affects the whole, if you believe this program would benefit you, then
go-ahead and register instead of waiting, except funding is a problem.
• Support - having been blessed to work with many denominations, I know
many in leadership (pastoral or otherwise) are skeptical about the motives
of an independent program, concerned about their flock going somewhere
else and for other reasons.
Solution: Please note that I have no agenda, other than to bring African
Christian Singles together, first - that they are equally yoked regardless
of the denomination, secondly - to provide a godly atmosphere and great
teaching for them to meet.
• Parents Involvement - In a parent's zeal to want the best for a child
they might actually alienate that child by being too forceful. I shared
this with a parent this holiday with three kids in the "time to get
married" age group, and I counseled that they introduce the program
carefully, and not as another tactic to get that child married.
Solution: I want you parents on my side for this conference so I would
suggest couple of things. First, don't be forceful telling your single
adult child about the conference, suggest it and offer to pay the
registration or support that child in one way or another, let that child
make the final decision to go or not go for the conference. Secondly,
convince your child's friend and let him or her convince your child.
• Finance - there are many African Christian Singles who would like to be
part of this event but have no funding (registration, hotel etc), and this
is a genuine concern.
Solution: If you are a business person who have the same burden for young
people in your church or community, this is your opportunity to be a
blessing - ask the singles leader or the single adult directly, if you can
be a blessing to them by sponsoring that person. I already know someone
doing that for a friend.
The program
It is designed as a two day event but the second night would run way into
the night, hence the three day tag.
Thursday, March 20th
Apart from registration and booking into hotel rooms, the event itself
starts later with everyone being together. I will cast the vision and Dr.
Okey Onuzo will speak on the importance of being equally yoked as a good
foundation.
After the last speaker, participants will have at least three hours to get
to know each other by playing board games which would be available on each
table. Hopefully, everyone can find a board game they like.
Friday, March 21st
The day would start early and we'll have two sessions, of each speaker
speaking at separate bays, and participants will have the opportunity to
choose two of the three topics they'll like to listen to. After a lunch
break, the group would reconvene, and everyone would come back together
for two hours of question and answer, the three speakers would be the
panelist and participants would ask the questions with moderators.
The night would be rounded up with a formal dinner (already covered in the
registration cost), men in white tie and women in decent gowns. Meeting in
an informal and formal setting in my opinion is important; a funny side to
this argument is that many female single want to know if the guy is still
taller when they have their favorite high-heeled shoe on.
Cost
Registration is $150 (includes formal dinner and event materials only).
You can either register on our website (with paypal), or do it by mail to
our post office box address.
Hotel is $99 discounted (I'm sure two or more people can share a room -
please confirm with the hotel). I visited the hotel in December and it is
a four star hotel.
All the speakers are published authors with international speaking
experience and we'll have tables for each speaker. Dr. Onuzo and I have
published books on the subject of setting the right foundation for
marriage, while Tara along with her husband has taught a marriage class
for newly wed for years.
I trust that between when you read this article and February 23rd 2008
that we'll have more than 400 participants registered. Visit
www.christiancouples.org for more details.
Remain Blessed and see you in Atlanta.