TIPS AND NUGGETS ON HOW TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE WORK
"And when Rachel saw that she bare Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister; and said unto Jacob, Give me children, or else I die.
2 ¶ And Jacob's anger was kindled against Rachel: and he said, Am I in God's stead, who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb?"
22 ¶ And God remembered Rachel, and God hearkened to her, and opened her womb.
Gen 30:1-2, 22.
stop finding fault(s) with your spouse
- Start finding reasons to celebrate your spouse.
- Stop finding reasons why the marriage cannot work.
- Start finding reasons why the marriage must work.
- Stop documenting facts to nail your spouse.
- Start documenting milestones of your spouses achievements.
- Stop making unreasonable, unrealistic, demands (read the text above again) on your spouse.
- Start evaluating the limitations and do your best to remove them.
- Stop calling your spouse negative names or using derogatory terminologies even when it is true. E.g. You are a liar, you are selfish, you are a witch, you are simply dumb, I don't blame you I understand that is the way your parents, treated each other, etc. Words are eggs once they fall on the ground they shatter and scatter you can never recover them.
- Start using words that will build your spouse and home even in moments of anger.For example, my love for you will never fail, by the time I am through with you in our 90s no one will want to marry you, you are the most beautiful/handsome, brilliant, highly intelligent person, I ever met and I am glad I married you and you married me, you are so sweet, it will be well with you my darling, etc. Remember, 'the dust always settles but memories linger'.
- Stop cursing your spouse, (even in your prayers) curses are negative,potent and destroys. You and your generations will both carry the effect of the curses.
- Start blessing your spouse. You and your generations will both enjoy the effect of the blessings.
- Stop finding reasons you cannot pray together.
- Start finding reasons you can pray together and please pray together. The family that prays together stays together.
- Stop finding reasons you cannot have sex together.
- Start finding reasons to have sex. Sex is not just a tonic and a stimulant, it is a mystery that God created not just therapies for bonding but platforms for new beginnings. God the designer knew why he created the sexual components in marriage. Myles Munroe said 'men don't want sex they need sex'!
- Stop using sex as toll gates
- Start using sex as blessing gates.
- Stop blaming your spouse for your marrital decays and woes.
- Start engineering marital stability. In that sense you will look for solution.
- Stop ignoring simple words that can help your marriage.
- Start applying words that can heal your marital wounds.
- Stop doing things that will deliberately hurt your spouse.
- Start to deliberately do things what will make your spouse fulfill purpose, career and destiny.
- Wife's stop disrespecting your husband. Respect is God's command and it will help your marriage beyond your expectations.
- Husband start loving your wife. Your wife genuinely needs love. It is God's command.
- Husbands stop finding reason not to provide for your household. Be responsible. Be a father, not absentee father. Be a husband not a prodigal husband and be a good leader, physically and spiritually.
- Wives start finding reasons to support family finances, your husband may not be able to shoulder all the responsibilities alone.Be a wife and a mother not a nagging one. A home builder.Prov 14:1
- Stop planning for divorce. Stop threatening yourselves with divorce.Read Numbers 14:28. Divorce is not only about you but about your children and coming generation.
- Start planning for an enjoyable and lasting divorce free marriage.
God will help you! Say Amen.