came from back from a trip last Wednesday and was feeling tired. Also I was experiencing 80 degrees of hunger as my digestive system was about to crack. The day was very sunny and hot. The time was 1.46p.m. I hurried to the dining room and found my food ready on the table. It was pounded yam and egusi soup punctuated with chicken major parts. I smiled like a newly married lady served with her choice of delicacy. I sat down with dignity and blessed the food solemnly. Then I began to eat the sumptuous food with all necessary concentration. Due to the deliciousness of the menu, I ate up everything except the plates and cutleries. Even I forgot that I have a dog in the house when I was crushing the bones with my sharp premolars. Out of confusion, the dog started barking seriously from its cage as I was consuming the bones. Perhaps it perceived that I have crossed the boundary. Afterwards, I transported the entire menu down the intestine with a bottle of chilled Life beer. I bobbled with vitality again.
Next, I entered my room singing praises. It was siesta time. Indeed I slept like a bouncing adult baby (BAB). I had a nice dream whereby I entered into the Beatific Vision and I saw myself sitting next to Jesus Christ in heaven. The Angels and Saints were singing and glorifying God. I joined them instantly. My Guardian Angel was trying to usher me into my beautiful mansion in heaven when I was awakened by the noise of two notorious women fighting behind my residence. I sighed when I discovered that I was only dreaming. I was confused as my body and spirit were trying to part ways. In order to overcome the confusion, I embarked on a walk of about five kilometers from Neni to Adazi-Ani in Anaocha L.G.A of Anambra State.
As I was descending a sloppy road, a girl of about 14 years of age rushed out from her mother's shop. She was shouting on top of her voice. She bent down trying to vomit. Her mother stood by her side and was asking her what was amiss. She confessed that she mistakenly drank from a container of dry gin, presuming that the content was drinking water. She had swallowed about two mouthfuls before she discovered that it was gin. By then the power of the dry gin has entered into her light brain. Consequently, she started prophesying and dancing madly. I shook my head and exclaimed, "What a cancer of confusion! Confusion is everywhere!!" As I moved forward, I was instantly inspired to reflect on this cancer of confusion, which is common everywhere nowadays.
At a lonely spot on my walk route, I saw a group of fierce boys coming from the opposite direction. My breath failed me as they were already close. Confusion came all over me as I was undecided on the next line of action. If I step forward or backwards I would be in danger. The cancer of confusion caught me instantly and the virus disturbed my mind seriously. I asked myself, "Could these fierce boys be armed robbers, kidnappers or cannibals? Out of confusion I hid my mobile phone inside my pant. I started walking in a holy manner and making the Sign of the Cross continuously as they were passing me by. Also I greeted them, "Good evenings Sirs" even though they would have been the same age with my children if I were married. Being confused by themselves, those fierce boys took to their heels. I did not waste a second as I also developed wings in case they change their minds and make a u-turn.
Yes, cancer is an endemic terminal disease. Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English defines cancer as "a very serious disease in which cells in one part of the body start to grow in a way that is not normal, often causing death."The cause remains unclear. Medical experts advise all to avail themselves of regular medical check-up. Early detection can be treated successfully. We have cancer of the liver, brain, bone marrow, blood, spleen, prostrate, pancreas, breast, womb, anus, etc. These various types of cancer are terminal, if not discovered on time. Cancer kills many people today more than any other ailment. If cancer of the womb or the breast is contagious, then the life of the baby is in serious jeopardy. However, experts have confirmed that cancer is not contagious but deadly. Nonetheless it can be hereditary.
Today there is a newly discovered type of cancer known as the cancer of confusion. It is also terminal if not controlled on time. The symptoms are lack of clear vision, hunger, anger, dizziness, despair, hardship, idleness, frustration, loss of job, acute headache, sleeplessness and worries. If you are experiencing any lump in your mind, kindly see a psychiatric doctor immediately. The virus is spreading like wild fire everywhere, especially in our country Nigeria. Few days ago, an indigent man saw his in-law in a dream at night knocking on his door with a bag of rice on his head. The indigent man sleeping with his wife got up unconsciously at midnight and started dancing joyfully. His wife was awakened by the noise of the dance. She wiped her face and asked, "Papa Patience, what is wrong with you at this midnight? Why are you doing this nocturnal dance?" The poor man regained his consciousness and went back to bed. He was indeed suffering from the cancer of confusion caused by acute hunger. Many Nigerians are presently suffering from this type of cancer due to economic recession.
Yesterday, out of confusion, a hungry middle age housewife wanted to say good morning to her husband, but she ended up slapping him mercilessly. The husband was confused and he asked her wife why she slapped him early that morning. She was remorseful and confessed that hunger blocked her vision. The angry and hungry husband retaliated by giving her two dirty slaps. The virus of the cancer of confusion entered the brains of the couple. They started fighting at that early morning. The children woke from sleep as their mother was shouting for help. Three of the children joined forces with their mother against their father while the other two joined the camp of their father against their mother. Thank God the tenants came on time to separate the family group fight. The family of five was taken to hospital for laboratory test. The result showed that they were all suffering from the cancer of confusion. The doctor gave each of them an intravenous injection to fight the virus of cancer of confusion already developing inside their body systems.
The cancer of confusion has also entered the sanctuary. Last Sunday, a couple came for thanksgiving in a church with a heavy sack with the letters "Golden Rice" written on it. Due to the economic recession in the country people scarcely make offering with bag of rice in these days. The pastor celebrant with a wife and five children could not afford to buy the costly rice themselves. Hence he was so overjoyed when he saw the sack of Golden Rice. He said special prayer over the donors. The pastor's wife and children quickly came to the sanctuary and carried the sack by themselves into the house to avoid any accidental disappearance. After the Sunday service, the pastor and his wife opened the sack enthusiastically to measure some quantity of rice for cooking. What happened? The content of the sack was strange. Instead of rice they saw local cassava flour. The pastor and his wife slumped instantly. Their children and neighbours rushed them to the mission hospital where the doctor on duty diagnosed them of suffering from the cancer of confusion. They were admitted and placed on stringent treatment with 60 - 40 chances of survival.
Nowadays we hear of people slumping and dying instantly. It is a result of this cancer of confusion. Three months ago a medical doctor slumped in a church in Jos. Before any help could come, he was pronounced clinically dead. He was suffering from cancer of confusion. He had a nagging wife and stubborn children. Most patients have deserted his hospital due to high rate of mortality. He was physically present in the church, but outside minded due to worries. As the virus of confusion entered into his brain, his blood pressure rose beyond control. Then he slumped and died in the church. There was also the case of a business man suffering from this same cancer of confusion. Two weeks ago in Lagos he committed suicide right in his office. An eye witness narrated that the late business man was experiencing hardship and he could neither pay his workers nor feed his family any longer. The virus of the cancer entered his brain which caused him to take his life.
Indeed millions of Nigerians are presently suffering from the cancer of confusion as a result of the bad state of the Nation. The Party in power promised us CHANGE but we are experiencing CHAIN. Having lost focus, the current Leadership says that change begins with you and me. When Archangel Gabriel announced to the Blessed Virgin Mary that she would conceive and bear a son who would save the sinful mankind, she asked the Archangel: "How can this be done since I am a Virgin?" (Lk. 1: 24). The Archangel told her how. Likewise may I ask the APC led Government, "How can this change begin with you and me?" The suffering masses want the hunger and hardship in the country to be changed into food and progress. Recession should be changed into progression. Our Naira should have equal power with the Dollar. Our bad roads nationwide especially in the South-South and South-East should be changed into good roads. Our idle youths should be changed into busy youths. The remaining kidnapped Chibok girls should also regain their freedom. The terrorists should be changed into philanthropists. The rampaging bloody Fulani Herdsmen should be sent to the zoo. The lopsided federal appointments should be reversed to reflect federal character. When all these conditions are met, then the millions of Nigerian patients suffering from the cancer of confusion will receive instant healing.