ew days ago, I was taking an evening walk in my area of jurisdiction, to keep my body and my spirit in equilibrium. As I was ascending a hilly road, I saw a decked house used for commercial beer drinking with music booming. Seats were arranged systematically on the decked floor and also downstairs. It was still during the New Year festive period. Live music was playing. Some boys and girls were there drinking bottles after bottles. At intervals they stood up and danced madly, cuddling each other as if they were in Sodom and Gomorrah. An elderly man who was walking in front of me saw the scenario and shook his head. He spat on the ground and exclaimed, "Rubbish!" He was scolding the boys and girls from afar and soliloquizing loudly. He condemned those boys and girls for their unruly behavior and economic waste in this time of recession. He wondered why one should not stay at home and drink one or two bottles quietly. Why the ostentatious show off? I was very close behind him.
As he was barking at what he saw, his eyes collided with mine. I didn't know whether he was expecting me to respond to his anger over the scenario. I showed him a pitiful face while I kept mute. Indeed I saw poverty written all over the man's dried face, caused by the menace of harmattan season. He might not have eaten since morning. And lo behold those boys and girls were lavishing their money on green bottles. The poor man wondered why they should not use the money they were lavishing to help the less privileged in the society. I would have given the poor man some money but I was putting on a shot and polo shirt without pockets. The sandals I was wearing that day were worn out. Otherwise I would have given them to him since he was walking barefooted on a hot evening.
As I was walking home, I came to a market place. There I saw a vision. Can you guess what I saw? Two young boys were walking in a stylish way in front of me. Their trousers, which should be buttoned on their waists, were pulled down below their buttocks. Their red and yellow pants were gazing at me like in a film. It was the famous sagging attire. I covered my nose with my hands in case they pollute the air, because I was walking closely behind them. With a covered nose I shouted like a masquerade to their hearing, "Rubbish!" They glanced at me with disrespect and jointly replied, "Paapa, leave us alone to enjoy our time and mind your business. Your generation has gone." I asked them, "Do you know who I am? Are you prisoners that wear sagging trousers due to lack of measurement? Perhaps you escaped from prison. Or are you mad? Look how you are walking along a market place almost naked. My people say that a madness that reaches a market place is incurable. It is only a mad person that displays his or her nakedness to the public. Do you have parents?" They made mockery of me and ran away with their pairs of trousers falling downwards. Once again, I exclaimed, "Rubbish!"
Going further I stopped at a local round-about road to look before crossing. While I was waiting for the vehicular movements to ease before I negotiate, I saw another vision. Three ladies were walking stylishly as if they do not go to toilet. They were also wearing sagging trousers in feminine style. One quarter of their pants were losing alignment. At the front view, their breasts were also sagging such that everything was visible. I shook my head and shouted to their hearing, "Rubbish!" They cast a fierce look at me and sighed. They made an insulting noise with the gums they were chewing and shouted together, "Expired man, go to blazes!" I uttered no more words to avoid further public assault. Immediately I got home, I went before a standing mirror to view myself. I looked at my image and asked myself, "Have I expired?" I shook my heads sideways and shouted, "No, the devil is a liar. Rubbish!"
It was news time. I sat before my television set with a cold bottle of stout to cool my tensed temper as I was watching and hearing the current global news. The news caster reported over the massacre of hundreds of innocent people in Southern Kaduna of Nigeria. The distorted bodies lying in their pool of blood were shown on the screen. I emotionally stood up and exclaimed, "Rubbish! What is the Kaduna State Governor and the President doing over this unwarranted blood- letting?" Southern Kaduna is densely populated by Christians and they are mostly farmers. The terrorist Fulani herdsmen have gone to wipe them out. If the bloody attackers have no ulterior motives, why did they not attack Northern Kaduna mostly populated by Muslims? Governor El-Rufai and President Buhari should nip the problem in the bud before it escalates like the Boko Haram. It took the president some days before condemning the mayhem. The soldiers that were sent to maintain peace and order are expected to go the bushes in Southern Kaduna to confront the bloody attackers in herdsmen attire. The question in my mind is: Why are these bloody herdsmen causing mayhem here and there without any arrests and prosecution since the inception of President Buuhari's administration? Is the life of cattle more valuable than human life? President Buhari should call his Fulani people to order immediately. In this critical time of economic recession, farming is a sine qua non. The herdsmen should not graze their cattle in people's farms. Also all herdsmen ought to be disarmed. How can herdsmen carry Ak-47? Are they in war front? Herdsmen should carry sticks and not guns. If they are left to carry arms, then every Nigerian should be allowed to do likewise for self defense. No human life is greater than the other. It is rubbish for herdsmen to kill innocent people for the sake of their cattle. Who are these herdsmen and who arms them? Another Boko Haram has arrived.
Here is another rubbish taking place globally. Some western governments are promoting gay marriage, whereby a man marries a man. A woman also marries a woman. God himself created man and woman and blessed them as husband and wife. If a man marries his fellow man, then who between them is the wife or the husband? And if a woman marries a woman, then who impregnates the other? In my biology class I learnt that a man supplies sperms during sexual intercourse while the woman supplies the egg. The man's sperm fertilizes the woman's egg. How does reproduction take place in gay marriage? Recently, I read from my WhatsApp that President Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe locked up two men who wanted to marry each other in a room until one of them gets pregnant. It is amusing but serious. One of them can get pregnant miraculously. Perhaps one of them produces sperm while the other releases eggs. Can an artificial womb be implanted in a man? Can a woman grow natural penis overnight if she marries a fellow woman? If gay couple is allowed to adopt a child, then who gives birth to the child, if male-female marriage is jettisoned? Rubbish! Let us wait and see. God is also watching.
Not long ago, a young man came with another young man to my office to register for wedding between two of them. I thought it was in a dream. I stood up and shouted, "Abomination! Rubbish!" I told them to go and bring a written dispensation from God. They asked me, "Father, how can we get it? We love each other so much that we have decided to marry ourselves. We have deeply fallen in love. Please father, kindly wed us. God understands." This episode too place in the Year of Mercy (2016). Thus, I mercifully looked at the immoral young men and asked for God's mercy on them. Before I started praying over them, I warned them to leave my office before I opened my eyes to avoid God's wrath falling on them. I explained to the duo that it is a sin against the Holy Spirit for a man to marry a man or a woman to marry a woman. As if my admonition was falling on deaf ears, the two young men deeply kissed each other in my presence. I couldn't control my temper as I drove them out of my office with moderate force. Today the two immoral and stiff headed young men have run fiercely mad and they are parading the streets day and night without anyone to control them. Rubbish!