Femi Ajayi's Outlook


I am a party animal myself but not to the point of spraying, and sharing of gifts. My food and drink that I am giving you is sufficient.
Wednesday, February 25, 2004



Dr. Femi Ajayi

ANNOUNCE THIS ARTICLE TO YOUR FRIENDS
"OWAMBE": LET'S GO DANCING HUUUUUUUUUUUU LA! LA!



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nywhere I go, quite a number of my readers always love to discuss with me the OWAMBE style party, which I often refer to in my write up, especially from my American friends who have no clue as to what OWAMBE Party means, and also where I stand on the subject. I decided to invite one of my American friends to one of those profligate party organized by Nigerians in a grand style. We have people celebrating fake birthdays that are not up to the 40th birthday just to show that "I am part of this, and I know how to party more than anyone does."

What is this OWAMBE? He dey there? OWAMBE party is an acronym, I believe designed by those that live in Lagos, the Lagosians, that spread to Yoruba land, of which has infected almost every group in Nigeria today. Even those that originally frown at it have surpassed the Yoruba on this subject. OWAMBE party comes with highly expensive celebration, materials, dress, aso ebi (uniform), bags, trinkets, shoes to match, plenty of food, drinks, which comes with money spraying of dollars over the celebrants and the artists. The money spraying is not to the face any more, it is to the chest, neck of a woman, ridiculous. In one word we could call it grandiose party. It is a wasteful party.


One of my American friends accompanied me to one of such parties sometimes ago. She had earlier on asked me what type of drink she needed to bring along. I told her none. She said, "Femi, you must be kidding." "What about food?" None. "Femi, you are pulling my leg." I told her that her leg is not long enough for me to pull. She asked the time we would go to the party, I told her twelve midnight. "You must be kidding me. The invitation says eight o'clock". "That is true," I told her. "The party would be over with by the time we got there, and I would probably be sleeping that time". I insisted that she could not go to sleep before that party. She agreed and we went to the party.

We got to the party venue at about 12:45 am, there were very few cars at the parking lot. She was irritated "I told you, the party is over, Femi." It took me a while to convince her to go into the hall with me. I took her to the serving table with only drinks available, no food yet. I offered her something to drink. She went on again that who was going to pay for the drink. "It is free, my dear." "How much can I drink?", she inquired again. Just do not drink beyond your limit. At about 1:15 am, the bandleader walked in and started with "testing", "testing", "testing". She asked, "testing for what". "For the party" I told her. At about 1:30 am the food arrived and people began getting up to eat. She was shocked that people were eating at 2:00am. I reminded her that after food we would burn it out during dancing.

The Party started at about 2:30am. At that time my friend was yawing and ready to go to sleep. I insisted that she has to wait for a while. The masters of ceremony got to the stage, did what she has to do by way of calling members of the high table, special recognitions, and the celebrant with a welcoming music, matching to the stage to dance with her friends. They were all in uniform. She was impressed.

The first drop of saliva from her mouth messed up her beautiful dress when she saw the women spraying money on the celebrant. She asked, "Femi what is that? A Paper or some?" "That is GREEN". "Why are they doing that?" "It is part of the party", I responded. "Is that not money they are putting on her head. Is she a go-go dancer or stripper?" Some came to the stage and threw bundles of money to the artist. My friend jumped up, "he is throwing a bomb at the artist. Let us go Femi before it explodes." I sat her down and assured her that there was no bomb. It is a bundle of money. She would not believe me. She got up and made straight to the crowd to confirm that it was really money.

As beautiful as she is, with the complete match to an average Nigerian taste, a prey for Nigerian men, a young man excused her for a dance of which she honored. She danced very well too. After a while the man started spraying her with money on her forehead, while others joined him. Before she knew what was happening she was covered with dollars. She ran back to me and said to me "Femi, these people are crazy, I am not a nude dancer". At a point I went to the stage and began to dance with her and here comes multiple spray of money on her. When we finally got settled down, she had a lot of money with her. She commented, "I have enough money to pay my bills." She refused to give any of the money to anyone. There after, ladies started distributing different gifts such as pens, pads, trays, bowls, trash cans, mugs, umbrellas, among others. We probably left the party at about 6:00am.

Unfortunately, she missed the Church on Sunday for the first time in her life. She fell sick and could not go to work for the following week. She almost lost her job because she got sick. She promised not to go to such party again. She wondered, "how you people make it."

That is OWAMBE party for my American friend.

Like I tell people, I am not anti-social as people might think. If you want to know how well I party, bring King Sunny Ade, Osadebey, Ara, Awilo, Loketo, or Soukus Stars to town; I dance better than a worm. I am not comfortable seeing the hard gotten money been displayed at these parties as if you picked it up from the street. I love to dance to any good music. Music is the fruit of life. People should socialize but in moderation. Even if you apply heavy cosmetics to your face, even if you are good looking, you will look like a ghost under that heavy make up you plaster on your face. But when it comes to buying very expensive special attires, trinkets, bags, shoes, wristwatches, and start throwing bundles of dollars to the artist because he sings your praise just for one night, I believe that is a waste right there.

The celebrant would change dress up to three or more times to show that he/she has some cloths to display. I know one of my friends would hate my gut for this, because she deals with textile goods, and that is one of the sources of her livelihood. Do not get me wrong; there are those that sell these items for a living. That does not prevent them from making their money. Unfortunately, most of these women buy those items on 'higher purchase' like people talk in Nigeria.

The picture came very clearer when you watch the Video Tape of such gatherings. I usually ask myself reasons why people go to the extreme to socialize. Each time, especially women wait on line for the artists to start singing their praises, before they open their wallets to dish out the dollars. Immediately, they open their bags and started getting money out, one dollar in ten seconds, until another richer fellow makes way to the stage.

Discussing with one of the elders in town, Bayo Agboola, how he likes this type of gathering. His response is "Oun ti aba laiye ni Baba" That is what the tradition is. Even in America, the tradition of OWAMBE has been done beyond those who started the tradition of honoring the celebrant.

I watch this elder man each time I get to any of such gatherings. I never seen him sprays anyone with money. But he would make sure that he tastes the variety of food items brought for the party. Curiously I asked him why he is not following the tradition of OWAMBE style to honor the celebrant. His response was that, before I leave my house, I would change my $5 and once I finish with that I will sit down and enjoy my meal. Or I give the celebrant a gift which covers the spraying part". In some occasions, the gift he buys is enough for the celebrant. When asked how does the celebrant want to pay for all the expenses, his response is very quick, "talo ran nise" meaning that, which is what she wants to do. "She has to think about how to cover her expenses, she has not told us that she is commercializing on the gathering." I consider that a moderate individual who wants to go with the tradition but not abusing it.

If we take a good look at it, I believe the society permits such practice. Take for instance in a country, like France, where you can hardly get a place to stay pass 6:00pm. According to a friend in Paris, Trish, you might have to wait for six months before you get a place for a party, and would allow you to stay till 6:00pm. How would you want to start your party at 2:00am and stay till 8:00 am in the morning? In the United States, especially, in big cities like New York, Houston, Atlanta, Washington D.C., the party starts at 2:00 am when food start arriving, with plenty of liquor to consume, and money to spend, usually till mornings, preventing the party goers to go to Church on Sunday.

Having said that, what prevents anyone starting the gathering at 7:00pm and end it at 12:00 midnight, but not starting the party at 2:00am, of which Professor Ibrahim Agboola Gambari refers to as "an abuse of privilege". Some might argue that they have to go to work till 11:00pm on weekends and could not possibly get to the party. We all realize that most people get more hours on weekends, and at night especially those in the medical field, unlike the white-collar jobs that operates from Monday through Friday. America is a place where you work very hard for every dollar Uncle Sam gives you. To turn around and spend that money without thinking of your children that needs school materials is disturbing.

I am a party animal myself but not to the point of spraying, and sharing of gifts. My food and drink that I am giving you is sufficient. If you want to give me gift, I'll take it, but not making yanga to the public that I have some money to dish around.

No one condemns socializing, or OWAMBE party which according to a friend. Adisa Lambe, 'Adunbarin' " it is a therapy for most of us. We need it". However, it should be done in moderation.

We do have quite a number of other nationals in this country that have made tremendous impact on the society where they live. They formed organizations and improve their purchasing power. The Asians have chains of businesses and would take over any mall that allows one or two of them to have a space. Nigerians purchasing power on OWAMBE party is unrecognized by the community because of the type of product they purchase. Americans refused to accept that OWAMBE party involves, drinks, food, gifts, and rental halls to boost the local economy. For some obvious reasons, Uncle Sam refuses to acknowledge the heavy economic impact of OWAMBE party in the communities.

My advise to promoters of OWAMBE party is to tune it down a little bit and invest the money on some ventures that would yield some dividends for their future use. It makes them live a better life, and think of better things to come in their life. Friends could gather together for a couple of hours to dine and dance to some light or heavy music. The age we are now is the age of reasoning where the world economy is going down, people are losing their jobs, and the world is becoming more hostile due to some unacceptable government policies. We should go with the wind so that we could have something for the raining day.

A hoodwink can organize a party if he has the money to dish around. It is not more than getting a venue, a DJ or an artist, a caterer, invite friends, and serve food and drinks, shikena. Why wasting our intellectual skills on those wasteful area, instead of inventing the skills in a more positive way. My concern has been despite our education, the exposure, we still behave like those who never step out from their local farms that have no modern electricity, water supply, or any of the modern technology. When I say education, not necessarily the College degrees, but what you acquired from your daily life. Unfortunately, the worse off are those that have the College degrees and still behave like stack illiterates.

You don't have to have a degree, even though it helps in your judgment, to know the difference between your left and right hand. Anytime Nigerians organize a forum, convention, all we think about is party! party! party! without the use of our God given talents to do something that the community to benefit from. It makes me sick to my stomach, when we try to organize a convention, and all that people would say is that people will not show up, if we don't invite a re-known artist.

I know it will take a while before we can reprogram our people's social mental make up. At least if we start from somewhere, gradually, people would start getting interested and deviating away from OWAMBE styles all the time, and use their God given talents in more positive directions.

Enough of OWAMBE party! Let us invest more on our children for a better tomorrow.

Thank you.