FEATURE ARTICLE

Temple Chima UbochiWednesday, July 1, 2015
[email protected]
Bonn, Germany

ANNOUNCE THIS ARTICLE
TO YOUR FRIENDS

REMBERING MY MOTHER, LATE EZINNE LOLO CHARITY OCHEZE UBOCHI, A YEAR AFTER, AND THE END OF THE MOURNING PERIOD

advertisement

Though lovers be lost, love shall not; And death shall have no dominion (Dylan Thomas)

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell (Edna St. Vincent Millay)

The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not "get over" the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same (Elizabeth K�bler-Ross)

When those you love die, the best you can do is honor their spirit for as long as you live. You make a commitment that you're going to take whatever lesson that person was trying to teach you, and you make it true in your own life... It's a positive way to keep their spirit alive in the world, by keeping it alive in yourself (Patrick Swayze)


Temple Chima Ubochi and his mother

bout a year ago, we buried our mother: Now's the first anniversary, and the end of the mourning period. Mama's funeral, a year ago, was a mourning of her death, a celebration of her life, and, an acknowledgement of the end endless sacrifices she made to keep us happy.

Mama gave her all to her children and grandchildren, and she died for it. Even when she was given everything to make her own life easy and comfortable, after suffering for so many years to raise us, she still denied herself everything, for the love of of her children and grandchildren.

Now, I understand why people say that no matter how old one is, he or she will never outgrow the death of a good mother. An Ngwa singer sang that if "the death of a mother is a gift, that he would reject such (gift)". Mama was buried on 10th July 2014, and, I still can't get over her death. Since then, my life has never been the same again, as I'm still grieving. Many nights, I lie awake wondering why my mother should leave us so soon; sometimes, I'm lost inside my own thoughts, thinking about all my mother did for me. To me, if I had given her, my mother, the whole world, it wouldn't have been enough for all she did for me. The pain and regret of not making the most of every single moment I spent together with my mother is even worse than the pain of her death. My mother's death has made me realize that every single second we spent together, I wasted an opportunity to tell her how much I really loved her over and over again.

My case here is a peculiar one: My mother, and my late uncle, Hon. Chief Francis Enyinna Nwokoma, were the stabilizing forces in my life; and, in a world full of disappointments, both of them gave me hope and direction. As some of you know, I lost my uncle and mother in a quick sequence, as my uncle was buried in 2013, while my mother was buried in 2014. I was not born poor, as my father, Nelson Nnah Nwokoma, was a manager immediately after the war. My family was one of the few comfortable ones, in my community, immediately after the war, but, my father died mysteriously, in 1972.

From the time my father died, my life was turned upside down; a promising future became bleak, and suffering set in. Till now, I have seen it all and tasted all kinds of hardships and wants. The problem is that till this day, I never get exactly what I want in life; all I have had are all "managements", despite all the efforts I made to get the real things. In this wavering of life, only my mother was constant and real. That must be the reason I can't get over her death. I must add that despite the hardship of life, I have managed to put smile on my face always, but, that doesn't mean that my life is perfect, but, it means that I appreciate what I have and what God has given to me so far, hoping and praying for better days ahead.

As I remember my mother, I also want use this opportunity to remember some other women, who were also mothers to me. You know that in those good old years, a child belonged to a village or community, as everybody joined hands in raising a child. As noted in my mother's biography, during the burial, some mothers of my kindred brothers made significant impact on my life, when I was growing up. I mentioned their names then, and I will do it all again now: Helen Oyidiya Nwokoma; Vida Oyidiya Ubochi; Evelyn Egonjiuka Nwandu; Marbel Oyidiya (baby) Ohiara, all of the blessed memory. I also remember my lovely grandmother; Martha Ogbodiya Ubochi, and my aunt, Comfort Nwanyinna Mkparu. I also want to remember my maternal aunts; Marbel Mgbedeukwa Chinyere Ogii, and my most senior maternal aunt, Alice Nwinyinya Nwangwa, who just passed on, and would be buried on August 12, 2015, in Mbutu Umuoko Village of Isiala Ngwa South LGA of Abia State.

Most of all, special thanks goes to my great aunt, Mrs. Virginia Nwaozu (Zozu) Nwachukwu! Unfortunately, I learnt of her death, about a year ago, only few days ago, when her son, Promise Nwachukwu, and I joined up in Facebook. The news of her death added more agony to my weary and mourning soul. This woman, Zozu, worked at the University of Nigeria Medical Centre for so many years, and luckily, she was still there throughout my years at UNN. I was a financially challenged student at UNN, and this woman really helped me a lot then; at least, every Saturday then, I was assured of a good meal in her house. Her hospitality knew no bounds. But, I never had the opportunity to repay her fully. May God reward her and those she left behind, for me. May her soul and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace, Amen.

I wrote a lot in Mama's biography, which I attached below. These words below are addendum:

I didn't understand it, but, now I know why Mama always asked me to be strong, because, she knew that one day, I would need the strength to bear her loss. Mama's death anniversary is a painful regret of how we should have celebrated every day of our lives, like a glorious anniversary, while we were still alive, but, we only know this only when it's too late. I wish could take back every pain and worry that I ever gave to Mama. I wish that I could just undo all the moments that I made her blue.

Mama, please do listen to me: I cried endlessly when you died ,but, I promised that I won't let tears mar the smiles that you've given me when you were alive, but, I don't think I am keeping that promise well. Mama, I know you are listening to me right now from the heavens above: There's nothing that I value more, than your love. No matter where I am or what I am doing, your memories will always keep me smiling.

Continue resting in peace, till we meet to part no more. Then when I meet you again, I would just ask you to hug me as tightly as you can, I would then rest my head on your shoulders, and cry till my tears run dry. Now, I really know why everyone calls Heaven so beautiful ,because, it has you, Mama.

I miss you Mama.

The Church Service, to mark the end of the mourning period, will be held on Sunday, 5th July, 2015, by 10:00 AM, at St. Peters' Anglican Church Umuagbaghi Aba. No. 264-266 Obohia Road, Aba. My thanks and appreciation, in advance, to the Clergy, who would be officating that day (led by Ven. Nzechinyere Ebi), and all those who will be attending.


Temple Chima ubochi in pensive moods

My soul melteth for heaviness: strengthen thou me according unto thy word (Proverbs 119:28)

TIT BITS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3rqnjBrTLE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqStJnfs_N8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-8k5WFpMFQ

The Biography and Euolgy

https://nigeriaworld.com/feature/publication/ubochi/072614.html

https://nigeriaworld.com/feature/publication/ubochi/080114.html

https://nigeriaworld.com/feature/publication/ubochi/080914.html

https://nigeriaworld.com/feature/publication/ubochi/081814.html

THE THANX IS ALL YOURS!!!

advertisement
IMAGES IN THE NEWS